#don't have anything planned for the final day so I may just end up finishing my autumn drawing
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Would you write for a reader w/ smthng like a skin picking disorder (dermatillomania),?
It's not in a s/h way- in my case it's not painful, I just do it because either my skin isn't smooth enough or I'm stressed or smthng,, there's no pain associated with it for me,
If you do,, may I req an x reader w/ Ghost and Roach,?
But please don't worry if you're uncomfortable with it !!!
-Spidey Anon
Hello my lovely Spidey Anon!
It took a while, but I suddenly had motivation to write tonight and just spent a hour on it. But I finished, finally lol-
And don't worry!! Stuff like this I'm perfectly okay with, as I'm open to writing most things. And I do the same thing, so I understand :3
But anyways, here you are!! Enjoy!!
Ghost and Roach x Skin Picker!Reader
Ghost
It was a quiet afternoon, everything in the house was done and you were sitting on the couch, your phone in one hand as you scrolled aimlessly while waiting for Simon to return home. He had ducked out to the shops to grab a few ingredients for dinner, you could tell he was planning something good from the way he had jumped around the kitchen the hour before he left, checking the cupboards and fridge to see what you had. His lips were slightly lifted, almost grinning as he planned the dinner for you both.
You could tell when he got back home, from both the sound of his car engine rumbling as he droves down the street and the heavy thuds of his boots as he made his way up the stairs to your home, the soft jingle of keys at the door and the way he dropped the groceries on the kitchen counter before making his way directly towards you. “M’home luv,” he mumbles, instantly flopping onto the couch next to you and wrapping his strong arms around your waist, adorning your neck with soft kisses. He was really just a big puppy, but just for you.
He cherishes the way you giggle and drop your phone onto the couch next to you, wrapping your arms around him as you both end up as a cuddle pile on the couch. He ends it with one last kiss, deep and loving to your lips before standing up and giving your ass a playful slap as he makes his way back to the kitchen to begin cooking for the both of you.
As the smell of the homecooked meal starts to waft through the house, you follow the smell to find him stirring a pot over the stove. He grins as he sees you enter, not saying anything as he takes a spoonful of what he is cooking, blowing on it before lifting it to your lips. He chuckles as you let out a moan of delight as the flavours hit your tongue. “Alright love, how was work today?” he asks, continuing to stir the food as he waits for your reply.
“Ah… it was okay, my boss cut the deadline again for my next report,” you reply softly, the stress seeping through your voice as you lean against the counter, your brow furrowed as you think of the recent conversation you had with your boss. His cold and stern look sent shivers down your spine, even as you just thought about it.
“Oh dear luv… how much did he cut it back by?”
“Another week. I have three days to complete it now,” you reply again, your hands finding each other as you speak, your body trying to deal with the nerves and stress.
Simon turns around with a slight frown, looking over you with concern. “He shouldn’t be allowed to do that… M’sorry luv,” he murmurs, crossing his arms over his chest until he notices your hands, picking at each other like you always did when you were stressed or nervous, even worse when you were both. His movements were quick, almost instant as he reached for your hands, pulling them up to study them with a pout. “Darl… no more of this. Look- it’s all red,” he mutters as his fingers softly touch the reddened skin.
“I didn’t mean to…” you murmur back, watching as he shakes his head with a small ‘tsk’.
He shakes his head, patting your hand. “Let me go get the cream… can’t have it getting sore now can we?”
You nod, and he makes his way out of the room, shortly after returning with a small tube of antiseptic cream. He guides you into one of the dining room chairs, sitting beside you and gently taking your hand in his, applying the cream with the other with the utmost care. “We gotta’ find something to help with this,” he mutters, still holding your hands in his and his thumb gently rubbing along your knuckles in a soothing manner. “Promise, yeah luv?”
“I’ll try.”
He nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “That’s my girl/boy. Now, let's get ready for dinner, yeah?”
Roach
It was a nice afternoon on the couch, the plush yet worn-out fabric holding both you and Roach snug, winding down after a stressful week. He was snuggled up against you, head against your chest, listening to your heartbeat as his eyes remained trained on the television. His strong arms were wrapped snuggly around your waist, humming along with the music in the show as it came on. It was his heaven really, being with the one he loved most in such a simple situation. No guns, no violence.
It was just you.
The week had been stressful for both of you. It was a long wait until Roach had come back home from his mission, and people at your workplace were just never the best. Stack that up with a heavy work loud, and it made your whole week just endless hours of stressing and wanting to pull your hair out.
You let out a long sigh, making Roach stir, hugging you a little closer as his eyes remain on the television, too engrossed in the show. Your arms find their way around his back, not even thinking as your fingers play with each other for a moment, before finding a bit of skin on your finger, using your nails to pick at it, not even thinking about it. Just your body trying to find its way to relieve all the pent-up stress.
Roach mumbles something to himself, feeling your hands move against his back until he realises what you are doing. He was quick to act, playfully slapping your hands off his back, before grabbing both of them and putting them underneath him, pressed up against his chest. Laying on them so you couldn't move them.
You go to complain, your lips parting before he beats you to it, cutting you off with a small ‘nuh uh!’. “I know what you’re doing baby. No picking!” he scolds, booping your nose with a small grin.
“It doesn’t hurt-”
He cuts you off again, shaking his head and pressing his chest against your hands more, making sure they are secure. “Don’t matter. You’re not allowed to.”
You huff softly, laying back against the couch as you try to break free from the hold he has on your hands. “Gary- you can let go now.”
He shakes his head, looking up at you with adoring eyes. “Not unless you promise you won’t do it again. I will lay here all night like this to make sure you don’t.”
You let out a soft groan, but couldn’t help the smile that sneaks itself onto your lips. His loving and protective nature was something you just couldn’t fight against. You try once more to pull your hands back from his prison, but it quickly ends with you giving up once more. “Fine, I won’t,” He raises a brow at you, tilting his head as he waits for you to continue.
“I promise.”
He nods, letting your hands slip free from the grasp he had on them. Now, instead if being imprisoned under his chest, he held them firmly in his hands, calloused thumb gently rubbing against your knuckles. “Good, no more of that. We gotta’ find other ways to help you with your stress, huh?”
At your nod he grins, letting out a content sigh before lifting your hand to his lips, softly pressing kisses along your knuckles.
#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#cod mw2#writers on tumblr#cod mw3#writing#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#cod ghost#ghost x reader#ghost x you#gary roach sanderson#gary roach sanderson x you#cod roach#roach x reader#gary roach sanderson x reader#moonie asks#moonie writing
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Winter Blizzard - A Darkness Closes In On Body And Soul - Bad Start!Vy Ellion (OC/D&D AU)
This, he will come to know, is but one of a million timelines, and that in so many of them, he lives with his family. With two parents who love him, and a twin brother who he doesn't even remember now. With friends. With a city to roam. With the piece of mind that he will be cared for. That he won't be left on his own.
And when he sees this, and he sees what could have been… we'd all best hope his heart has thawed enough for him to properly grieve for it. Otherwise, those shards of ice will become all too dangerous.
'I'm close to finishing this,' I say, a fool, forgetting that even though I enjoy doing shading, that doesn't mean it doesn't take me ages.
Anyways! More Vy, but this time it's him in an alternate universe! Specifically an AU some of my friends from that campaign and myself cooked up where the party members were raised by various antagonists from said campaign. In other words: what if the woman who made your life (and hundreds of others) a living hell for five years kidnapped you when you were like, four, and raised you instead? Featuring severe abandonment issues and a deeply ingrained sense of perfectionism. Yaaaay!
This isn't actually a piece I drew for scrunkly week specifically, I will admit. I actually originally drew it in pencil like... a year ago. It's been sitting in my files for a while, so for today I thought I'd finally clean it up and color it digitally!
#scrunkly week#SWWinterBlizzard#original character#my art#my characters#oc: vy ellion#don't have anything planned for the final day so I may just end up finishing my autumn drawing#since I'm headed out of town for like half the day#also there's like Nothing in the bg cause I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with it
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own my mind - san (m)
summary: part of the idol series. idol!san x producer!reader. san hates you, you're sure of it, and the feeling is pretty mutual. are these feelings true, or does he just need to spend some time getting to know you?
word count: 10.6k
warnings: smut. afab reader. oral (f and m receiving) unprotected sex w pull out method, don't do that. recording during sex, don't do that either.
masterlist
"so the practice rooms are down this hall," your new boss explains as he shows you around kq, "and over here are the boys' studios, but your's will be this way..."
you're trying to take it all in and simultaneously remember where all of the confusing hallways lead. kq may not look like much on the outside, but within it's basically a maze. you keep nodding and smiling as you follow your boss around, politely greeting anybody you encounter. he ends by bringing you into a conference room to finalize some paperwork, and after that you're on your own. you're officially the newest producer at kq, and...you have no idea what to do next.
you step out of the conference room and try your hardest to remember which direction leads back to the studios, but you also need coffee. you remember where the kitchen is, so you head that way as you text your friend jen. she recommended you for this job, and she promised she'd say hi on your first day. she's one of the make up artists for ateez, so she's always around, but her schedule is a little more frantic than yours. you understand if she doesn't answer right away, so you send the text and forget about it. you take a moment to yourself in the company kitchen as you try to figure out the coffee machine, letting your thoughts wander.
are you really cut out for this? it's your first day and you already feel overwhelmed. do they expect you to just go into your studio and start producing? what kind of tracks do they have planned for the next album? will the current producers even let you touch anything important, or will you have to prove yourself first? you're thinking about all this and more when someone bursts into the kitchen with a screech.
"Y/N!!!" jen yells as she scoops you into a hug. "you're here! it's finally happening!"
"this isn't very professional," you laugh as you hug her back. "you're helping me make a bad first impression."
"not possible, i've been talking about how great you are for months," she smiles. "they're gonna love you, seriously. i can't wait to hear what you make."
"what if i suck though?" you ask, but jen shakes her head.
"don't do that. no negativity on your first day."
"whatever."
"so what are you doing first?" she asks, taking the coffee you just brewed and having a sip for herself.
"dude, that was mine," you cry, and she hands it back to you with a half assed apology. "um, what am i doing first...well, i got confused on my welcome tour, so i guess i'll wander around until i figure out where my studio is."
"oh i can show you," jen brushes you off. "it's not that confusing, you just need to walk it all a few times. lots of doors, but you'll get the hang of it."
"do you want to make your own coffee, or can you show me around right now?" you ask as you finish doctoring up your mug.
"i can just have another sip of yours," she says as she reaches for it, but you hold it just out of reach as someone else walks in.
"hey jen," hongjoong greets her, his eyes falling to you next. "are you y/n? i've been summoned to help you get started."
"thank god," you sigh in relief. "i wasn't sure what to do, so i appreciate it. it's nice to meet you, finally."
"likewise," he smiles. "i'm a big fan of your work."
"really?" you feel yourself blush. "thank you. you were one of the reasons i started producing, so that means a lot."
"really?" now it's hongjoong's turn to blush. "well, that's...nice."
"great," jen claps her hands, easing over the awkward silence. "you can show y/n her studio and the two of you can keep gushing about how great you both are." she turns to you and puts her hands on your shoulders, giving you a playful shake. "you're gonna do great things here. be nice to yourself. and uhhh, go team!"
"thanks jen," you laugh as you wave goodbye, following a respectable distance behind hongjoong. he looks back to make sure he hasn't lost you and motions for you to come closer.
"no need to be shy," he tells you. "we'll need to be pretty comfortable with each other considering how close we'll be working together."
"how often will i be working with you?"
"mmm, every day maybe?" he thinks about it. "in the beginning at least. you'll shadow me for a few days to see how the studios run, and then you'll sort of report to me with whatever you're working on. hopefully we won't get tired of each other."
"i don't think that'll be an issue," you assure him. you catch the tips of his ears turning red and you smile to yourself. "so, what makes a good producer here?"
you watch in admiration as hongjoong explains the creativity and collaboration that makes kq work so well, and you kick yourself for getting distracted again. you were supposed to be watching your surroundings, keeping an eye out for where to go to find your studio, but you can't help it. in this moment, it hits you: you get to make music with one of your favorite producers for one of your favorite artists. you must be dreaming, right?
if this is a dream, you're knocked out of it abruptly. while you were watching hongjoong, you weren't watching where you were going, and you walked right into the human equivalent of a brick wall. you spill your coffee everywhere, but don't worry, most of it lands on the most handsome man you've ever seen in your entire life. you're currently staring at choi san, singer of ateez and one of your new coworkers. he's looking down at you, a little bit of shock in his eyes, and you rush to correct the situation.
"oh, shit, i'm sorry," you apologize. you look to hongjoong for help and he's running off to find napkins, leaving you with a very buff man in a soaking wet white t shirt. "i am so so sorry, really, here, let me try to-"
"don't worry about it," san takes a step back. he starts to walk away, but you follow behind him.
"at least let me-"
"i said don't worry about it," he tries again, his tone calm but his eyes tell a different story. he's glaring down at you, which makes your blood boil. he has a right to be mad at you for spilling coffee on him, but why's he pissed at you for trying to help clean him up?
"sure, go drip coffee all down the hallway then," you grumble as you brush past him. "i'll tell hongjoong to follow the trail when he comes back with your napkins."
"fine," san sighs, stopping where he stands. he throws his hands up and asks, "happy?"
"sure."
"who are you anyway?" he mumbles to himself, looking you up and down. you feel his eyes linger, and it makes goosebumps rise over your skin. you take that as a further sign that this guy is getting on your nerves.
"i'm y/n, i'm the new producer," you answer. "nice to meet you."
"you spill coffee on all of your coworkers, y/n?" he asks, and you roll your eyes.
"i said i was sorry-"
"here's hongjoong," san cuts you off. he reaches out for the napkins and smiles at his bandmate. "thanks man."
"so you've met y/n," hongjoong chuckles, trying to ease the tension. "she's really great, we're lucky to have her on the team." san doesn't reply, just nods and sends you a tightlipped smile as he dabs at his ruined t shirt. the fabric is basically translucent now, showing san's tan skin below and the definition of every single muscle. hongjoong clocks the way your eyes are trailing over san's torso and he clears his throat. "um, should we continue our tour?"
"yeah, sorry," you gesture for him to lead the way, and you hold san's gaze as you walk away. he's a dick, you think. that'll be fun.
-
"so is san always an asshole?" you yell over the loud music to jen as you follow her to a table. she insisted on taking you out for drinks to celebrate your first day, and after the morning you had, you need this.
"is he what?!" she shouts back.
"an asshole!"
"san?" she looks at you bewildered. "he's a sweetheart!"
"are we talking about the same guy?"
"are we?" jen questions as she finally pulls you to a table in the back. it's a little quieter back here, so you don't have to shout, but the music will still drown out your conversation so no one can eavesdrop. once you're both settled, she takes a sip of her drink and then, "spill."
"nothing to spill, i just think san is mean and i hate him," you say simply. "i spilled coffee on him, totally an accident, but he was a huge dick about it. wouldn't let me help him, didn't really introduce himself...it all felt off."
"to be fair, i would've been pissed if you had spilled coffee on me when we met," jen points out.
"yeah, but you would've been nicer in the aftermath," you shake your head. "it's whatever. i hopefully won't have to work that closely with him."
"and what about hongjoong?" jen wiggles her eyebrows. "i hear you two hit it off."
"he's nice," you smile shyly. "made my first day a lot easier. he was really patient with all my questions, which helped ease my nerves."
"he's really good at that," jen nods. she goes into a story about her first meeting with hongjoong, and it makes you laugh and endears you to the man more. she tells you stories of the other members, none of whom you met today, but now you're excited to get to know them. "they're all really nice, especially san and yunho. i feel like they're the ones that always check up on everybody-"
"san?"
"yes, your mortal enemy," she rolls her eyes. "he's a good guy, i promise. you just need to make up for the coffee thing and i think you'll be on his good side."
"i'll think about that," you mumble, taking a sip of your drink that almost drains the glass. "so who's this guy you're seeing?"
"whoa, looks like you need another one!" jen deflects. she grabs your glass and runs off to the bar to get another round, leaving you to sit and stew on your own. if san was such a nice guy, why was he only rude to you? it sounds like he isn't mean to other newbies, so it can't be some kind of hazing. whatever dislike he holds for you is personal, and that's making you even angrier. when jen comes back with your new drink she says, "you look mad. what did i miss?"
"can you find out why san hates me?" you ask, and you swear jen would punch you if she could reach across the table.
"he doesn't hate you!! you just made a bad impression! stop making him a villain," she begs you. "man, you're so obsessed with him. maybe someone has a crush?"
"please," you scoff. "just because he has muscles doesn't make up for his shit personality."
"so you like his muscles," jen smirks. "tell him that tomorrow, it'll boost his ego."
"i'm not listening to you anymore."
"but i have so much knowledge to share!" she whines, and you let jen tell you all the do's and don'ts of working at kq as the night goes on. maybe you'll take her advice and try to patch things up with san in the morning. could be worth a shot, right?
-
the next day, you're in one of the bigger studios to help hongjoong with a vocal arrangement. since the last album did so well with the unit songs, you and hongjoong wanted to experiment a little further. you excitedly told hongjoong about your hopes to compose and produce a harmony heavy vocal track, and he was all for it. you worked on the music for it last night, bringing about half of the song to hongjoong for you to play around with today. you both agreed it'd be good to have a guide version ready before you share it with the entire vocal line, so seonghwa offered to help out, too. he's in the booth now as you and hongjoong instruct him from your seats behind the soundboard. he finishes the final layer for the first harmony, and you wait as hongjoong lines it all up. he plays the snippet for you and seonghwa, and you notice both boys are waiting for your reaction.
"that was great, seonghwa," you encourage him. "i really liked it, but..."
"don't be shy," hongjoong nudges you, "he can take it."
"i can," seonghwa agrees. "give it to me straight. did it suck?"
"no, it was really beautiful actually," you assure him. "but for the melody, could you make it more...monotone? that might sound weird, but we're trying to play with the high and low harmony like they're the angel and devil sitting on your shoulder, and for those to stand out the melody needs to be less...captivating."
"you hear that? she thinks your voice is captivating," hongjoong smiles to seonghwa, and he beams at you.
"i get that," he nods. "can i try it another way?"
you help hongjoong reset, and then seonghwa tries another layer in a sadder voice. it's just as powerful, but will be the perfect conduit for the story you're trying to tell. when he finishes, they look to you again and find you smiling proudly.
"that was it," you nod. "great job."
"thanks boss," seonghwa says as he steps out of the booth. "who do you want me to bring in next?"
"you can call san, we'll get him to do the high part and then-"
"san?" you look at hongjoong. "i thought seonghwa was doing the guide vocals."
"well, usually we could do with just one voice, but this song would work best with three distinct voices," hongjoong explains. "i don't think the guys would get it if it's harder to distinguish the different levels, you know?"
"right," you agree, just a little dejected.
"so..." seonghwa trails off. "should i go get him?"
"yeah, tell him to meet us here in ten," hongjoong tells him. seonghwa says his goodbyes and then hoongjoong turns to you. "you alright?"
"i'm good," you reply. "feel a little in over my head, but good."
"you're doing great," hongjoong says, placing his hand over yours on the desk. "it's a lot to jump into, and i'm sorry if it seemed like i was-"
"no, i needed the insight-"
"because i value your opinion-"
"i know that-"
"and-" hongjoong is cut off from finishing his thought because the studio door opens to reveal san. he's wearing another skin tight t shirt, black this time, so even if you spilled another coffee on him it would be harder to notice. he's paired it with a beanie and baggy black pants, and if what you're seeing is correct, he's not wearing any underwear. he stands there staring at you both before his eyes fall to your hand still beneath hongjoong's, and the two of you separate like you've just been shocked.
"i'm not interrupting anything, am i?" san asks suspiciously, and you viciously shake your head as hongjoong tells san to get into the booth. he explains the idea to san and queues up seonghwa's melody as san struggles to put the headphones on over his hat, so you lean into the mic and suggest, "try taking the hat off, maybe?"
"thanks, big help," he says sarcastically. he listens anyway, tossing his beanie away like he's mad at it. "so what am i doing? copying hwa?"
"no," you say sternly. "you're singing the high harmony. we'll layer it over seonghwa's vocals, but your voice needs to be distinct. you can practice if you want-"
"i don't need to practice," san cuts you off, staring daggers at you. "just play it." he keeps his eyes on you as he listens, and you feel nervous. he's listening to your song, your lyrics, and you think you see the slightest flicker of emotion in his eyes as seonghwa's voice fades. he doesn't comment on it, just continues staring at you and says, "yeah, got it. you can record this."
"let's listen to it first, and then record the next one," you tell hongjoong, and he nods in agreement. you watch san get ready, and then you hear the most beautiful falsetto flowing over your track. it makes you emotional, and it's another instance of the coolness of your job hitting you. you're so mesmerized you miss san finishing on a bit of a creative note, so the boys are staring, waiting for your input.
"y/n?" hongjoong calls your name. "what'd you think?"
"that was," you clear your throat, "that was perfect, san."
"great," he nods, taking the headphones off, but you stop him.
"ah, we need to record it," you remind him, and you catch his groan through the mic.
"i thought i said to record that one?"
"you don't decide that," you reply, and hongjoong tries to diffuse.
"she has a specific vision for the song, so we wanted to hear you first and then decide if there were any notes before we record you."
"what's the vision?" san asks you, and he listens intently as you explain. when you're done, he takes a deep breath and says clearly into the mic, "that sounds stupid. but i'll do it again. make sure you're recording this time."
"whatever you say, asshole," you mumble, angrily getting the track ready for his bratty voice. you wish you could stay mad at him, but as soon as he starts to sing you're enchanted. again, you get distracted by his voice, the emotion in it and all over his face as he sings, and you think, if he says your idea was stupid, why was he putting so much heart into just a guide vocal? he finishes and you thank him, saving the track quickly before you turn to hongjoong and inform him you need a water break. he's left in the studio with san as he saunters out, but hongjoong meets him at the door.
"what's your problem?" he barks, livid at the way san was treating you during that session.
"uh, you're blocking my exit?" he asks, but that was the wrong thing to say. hongjoong dives into a lecture about respect, and san has to laugh. "oh, you want me to respect the girl who spilled coffee all over me yesterday? who thinks, on her second day, she can tell me how to do my job?"
"she's a producer, her job is to literally tell you what to do-"
"well i'm sorry i hurt your girlfriend's feelings," san spits. "but i did what you asked me to do, so please let me leave." hongjoong steps to the side, still fuming, and san walks out. you catch him in the hall as you return, and you want to stop him, to tell him how great he sounded, but when you lift your hand in greeting he turns the other way and disappears.
-
you get a break from work later that day and find jen making a coffee. she sees you coming and has a cup ready for you to make your own, and you catch up on your days as your coffee brews. you tell her about san's lovely time with you in the studio, and jen listens, but when you finish she asks, "and he was still like this after you said you liked his muscles?"
"i'm not telling him that," you mumble.
"telling who what?" wooyoung asks as he pops around the corner.
"mind your business?" jen replies. "have you met y/n yet? she's the new producer."
"no, but i've heard mixed reviews," wooyoung says as he dramatically shakes your hand. "can't wait to decide which side i'm on."
"there's sides?" you ask nervously.
"yep," he says with a pop on the p. "hongjoong and seonghwa worship the ground you walk on. san hates your guts, although i'm not sure why. you seem lovely."
"she is lovely," jen points out.
"hm," wooyoung squints playfully. "guess we'll have to wait and see."
"what about innocent until proven guilty?" you ask. "just assume you'll like me and then you will!"
"yeah, but san is a good judge of character," wooyoung shakes his head. "if he doesn't like you, then he's got a reason."
"is the reason because he's maleficent?"
"oo, maleficent, i like that," wooyoung coos. he turns to jen and asks, "why don't you use big words like that?"
"i'm afraid you wouldn't get them," she sighs.
"try me, i'm full of surprises baby," he winks at her before smacking her ass and walking away. you watch in confusion, and she waves it off.
"don't worry, he does that sometimes."
"to everybody?!"
"just to me," she shrugs, and then it clicks.
"he's your fling," you smile. "very nice."
"nuh uh."
"no, he totally is. that's elmo," you piece it together. "is that his nickname because of his laugh?"
"you were never supposed to meet him," jen defends herself.
"so getting me a job here wouldn't interfere with that?"
"i figured i could keep it a secret," she pouts.
"you did! for a whopping 36 hours, good job!"
"don't patronize me," she complains. "i could call san and have him here in seconds-"
"oh man, i need to go record something," you frown, "maybe you two could talk though? figure out why he's got an all burning hatred for me, an angel?"
"i'll get to the bottom of it," jen says, and you realize the error you've just made.
"wait, no, don't talk to him, please," you beg.
"too late, you've asked for my help, so i'll help," jen concedes easily. "he'll either love you or simply tolerate you by the end of the week, i promise."
"great, thanks..."
-
you've made it through your first week, yippee! you really like it here, you fit in well with the members, and the producers seem to really like your ideas. the only problem is san. you enter a room that he's in and it goes quiet. he passes you in the hall, and you're fuming for the rest of the day. everyone knows about your little rivalry at this point, but no one understands where it came from. even jen, who was determined to make you and san best friends, has lost hope.
you're able to make it a couple days without any more san run ins, and for that you are grateful. you and hongjoong have made a lot of progress on the vocal line track, and he's invited you to a few writing sessions with mingi for the rap line track. you're feeling invincible after one of those sessions, walking back to your studio, when you get the scare of your life. you enter the code to your studio, guard completely down, and jump out of your skin when you see someone sitting at your desk.
"what the fuck?!" you shriek, using the door as a shield. you peek around it and see that it's not an intruder. well, at least not one that wants to hurt you. maybe. it's san, so this interaction could go in any direction.
"hello," he says simply. "nice way to greet your guest."
"how'd you get into my studio?" you ask as you close the door. you wonder if you should keep it cracked open, just in case you and san get into it and you need a witness that he probably started it.
"i needed to ask you a question," san responds instead, and you cock your head in confusion. "i can't do that?"
"i don't know, can you?"
"your song. the vocal one. how's it going?"
you're surprised this is what he wanted to talk about but, honestly, what else were you expecting? this is a normal work interaction, you think. you're just not used to having those with san. since san is sitting in your desk chair, you pull your stool over to the desk pathetically and perch on top of it as you shoot san a glare.
"can you move over? i need to get to my keyboard."
"aw, can't reach over my muscles?" san teases, and you feel your blood run cold.
"what?"
"my muscles? little birdie told me you liked them."
"what are you doing in my studio, san."
"i wanted to hear your song," he shrugs. you wait for him to move out of the way, but apparently that's not happening. you grumble as you lean over him and type, pulling the project file up on your screen. you check the volume before you hit play and look back to see san watching you intently. he's close, your arms brushing and his head only a few inches from yours. you hold his gaze for a second and then hit play, sitting back as you watch him listen. you can't read his expression as the song plays, but you don't care what he has to say. you love this song, and you think it's turning out great. whatever he has to say isn't important to you-
"wow," he whistles. "i get it now."
"get what?"
"why you're so pretentious about your work," san smirks as he side eyes you.
"is that supposed to be an insult?" you ask, trying to gauge his reaction.
"not really," he shakes his head.
"well it's not a compliment," you tell him.
"i'll work on that," he says as he stands. he puts his hands on your desk to support himself as he rises, and you swear to god, he's flexing his arms a ridiculous amount. nobody needs that much upper body strength just to get out of a rolley chair.
"hey!" you call as he walks away. "what the hell?"
"do you have to curse all the time?" san asks with look of distaste. "it's not very polite."
"nor are you."
"nice," he nods. "well, i'll be around-"
"no, wait, why'd you come in here?" you ask as you follow him out of your studio. "you just wanted to listen to the song?"
"yeah?" he shrugs, turning to face you in the hallway. he's standing so close you have to lean back to look at him properly, and you frown.
"i don't believe you."
"why not?" san smirks. "you wanted me in your studio for another reason?"
"no-"
"you're not the only one who likes to stare, doll," he says quietly, leaning down so his ears are just barely brushing your ear. he straightens back up before you can melt into a puddle on the floor, and then he smiles what might be his first genuine smile in your presence. "so maybe i didn't just come here for the song. but now i've heard it, and i know don't hate it, so i think we're done here."
and with that very confusing information, san walks away.
-
san is tired. he's been practicing for their seoul concert since the early hours of the morning, and he needs a break. it's almost an acceptable time to eat lunch, so he grabs his things and starts the short walk to his favorite convenience store. he likes this one because it's got a seating area in the back where he can eat, giving him some time to himself. it's secluded enough he doesn't have to worry about being bothered, but it has a good view of the street outside so he can people watch. it's the perfect spot for him to rest and enjoy his food, so he leaves the company with a pep in his step.
he grabs all of his favorites, moving on autopilot, and pays for them quickly. he takes everything back to his usual table and prepares his feast. now that he's stopped working, he feels the tiredness in his bones and realizes how hungry he actually was. when did he eat last? was it dinner? that was more than twelve hours ago, so maybe he can get away with eating another ramen before he goes...
san is considering whether or not he should get up and grab more food as he stares through the store window. there's people rushing to work, couples going to lunch, families wrangling kids. he watches with a smile as one family, a mother and father, try to handle what looks like a girl and two twins. that job is way harder than anything he's doing as an idol, he thinks. he watches fondly as they walk away, and when he turns back, his smile falls.
you and hongjoong are crossing the street, engaged in some conversation that's making you both laugh. you make a joke that sends a laugh crashing up from within hongjoong's chest, and san scoffs as he watches you stare in admiration. hongjoong rushes forward and opens the door to the convenience store for you, and san hears the end of your sentence as you enter.
"-didn't have to do that," san catches, and he hears hongjoong make a dismissive sound in response. "wow, there's a lot of food here."
"you see why we like this place so much," hongjoong responds. san can't see you, but your voices are getting closer. "there's something for everyone."
"there's so much, i don't know what to pick..." you trail off.
"get whatever you want," hongjoong says. "it's on me."
"what? no-"
"ah ah, no arguments. consider it a welcome gift."
"well thank you," san hears you squeak, and he can just imagine the way you must be blushing, looking at hongjoong so shyly, pretending to be coy-
"oh, hey san," hongjoong greets. you come to a stop behind him, bumping into his back, and san has to laugh. "didn't know you were here."
"didn't tell anyone i was leaving," san shrugs. he leans over, trying to catch your eye, and waves. "hi y/n."
"hi san."
"are you eating here?" san asks, and hongjoong shakes his head.
"ah, no, we were just taking a break," he replies. "i was going to buy us lunch and then we're gonna head back."
"got it," san nods, still looking at you. "carry on then."
"thanks for your permission," you mumble, holding onto the back of hongjoong's shirt as he turns you down another aisle. he starts looking for a snack he wants you try, but he can't see it. he looks up, eyes flitting around the store, and his face lights up.
"oh! it's over there! be right back!" he runs off, and you continue scanning the shelves. you're not that hungry, but you know you won't have time to leave again, so you need to get enough food for lunch and dinner probably. you're reading the ingredients on one of the prepackaged meals when you feel a presence behind you. turning, you see san looming above, and you jump.
"shit," you hiss. "wear a bell."
"need help pronouncing the big words?" he asks.
"yeah, come closer and let me show you."
"you having fun?" san sneers, and your confused expression makes him clarify, "with your boyfriend."
"what?"
"oh come on, letting him buy your lunch, holding onto him like that...you're eating it up, aren't you?"
"i don't know what you mean," you say as you step around san, but your face is red. he's getting to you.
"it's cute, really," he says, beating you to the end of the aisle. he puts his arm out, effectively blocking your way, and he continues staring down at you in that frustrating way of his. like he wants to swallow you whole. "how long do you think it'll last?"
"if you're asking about my patience i'm afraid that ship sailed a while ago," you try to fight back, but san just laughs.
"you're cute, you know? you try to be so tough, but it doesn't work. i see right through you."
"and what do you see?" you ask as you cross your arms. san bares his teeth, ready to quip back, but his eyes catch on something behind you. you look over your shoulder and see hongjoong holding up a bag, a confused look in his eyes.
"found the sweet potatoes," he says as he approaches. "what are you doing?"
"getting to know our coworker," san says nonchalantly, removing himself from your personal space. "i'll let you go. my food's getting cold."
"sure," hongjoong says skeptically, reaching for you. he tries to guide you away with his hand at your back, but you can feel san's eyes still on you. you turn and his hand politely falls away, but san's eyes follow you through the rest of the store. he gets an idea when you go back to the drink coolers, so san finishes his food quickly and heads to the front.
when you and hongjoong are finally ready to pay, you go to the register and hongjoong reaches for his wallet. the woman behind the counter shakes her head, showing a stack of bills to tell you it's been taken care of. you look around and find san halfway out the door, a wicked smile on his face. he waves at you teasingly before the door dings closed, and hongoong happily takes the food, babbling about how nice san is as you leave.
-
later that day, the boys are getting fitted for their tour outfits. each practice room has been converted into a walk in closet + vanity combo, so you peek your head in to see how it's going. jen spots you and waves you over to her station, and you duck through the racks of clothes to say hi to your friend. you're taken aback when you see who she's working on, but jen laughs and assures you it's ok.
"he won't bite, he's asleep," she says about the pouting san she's working on currently. "he was here all night, apparently. he knocked out before i could even say hi."
"are you sure he's asleep and not faking it?" you ask as you tentatively sit in the chair next to him. it's enough distance away that you're not concerned by the proximity, but you keep an eye on him as you talk. "maybe he doesn't want to talk."
"hey, san likes me, so i know he's not faking it," jen tells you. "he and i get along really well."
"congratulations," you mumble as you reach for a makeup brush to play with. "so how was your day?"
you and jen catch up as she works on san, periodically asking for your opinion on the look she's created for him. you know she's trying to get you to say something nice about him, to slip up and call him handsome or sexy, but you won't budge. all the compliments you give are very makeup forward, but she won't let up. she's also not being gentle in her application, so you really are afraid san is awake and listening. she's almost done with him when wooyoung walks up, greeting you happily.
"hey y/n!" he chirps. "nice to see you! you're in my seat."
"oh, my bad," you scramble to get up. you got comfortable, your feet propped on one of the giant makeup cases before you. jen puts a hand out to stop you, turning to wooyoung with a trying-to-be-stern look in her eyes.
"my friend and i are not done talking."
"well your boss told me to come over here and get my makeup done, so unless you want me to stand..." wooyoung trails off as jen finishes with san's face. she turns to him and nods.
"standing is fine," she says, quickly getting to work on wooyoung's base layer. "i'll work fast so you don't have to stand long."
"but then i don't get to bug you as long," wooyoung whines.
"life's cruel like that, huh?"
"come on, i know i'm your favorite part of this job," wooyoung teases, and you share a silent laugh with him as jen blushes profusely. once wooyoung catches your eye, his attention turns to you, and he asks, "what about you, y/n? now that you've been here a few days, what's your favorite part of this job?"
"san's abs," jen answers for you, and you try your best to kick her. you accidentally nudge san's chair and freeze, but he doesn't stir.
"oh yeah? let's tell him-"
"no!" you shout, and if he wasn't awake now he definitely is. he still doesn't move, but you continue in a softer voice, "um, no. don't do that. uhh, my favorite part of the job...i don't wanna be a kiss ass, but it's probably working with hongjoong."
"of course it is," san mumbles, and even though he spoke quietly it makes you jump. he opens his eyes and your skin sets fire as soon as he looks at you. "you're in wooyoung's chair."
"he's having jen time," you counter. "let him enjoy it."
"yeah, let me enjoy it!" wooyoung agrees.
"san, what do you think of the eye makeup i did? tried something new," jen says as she focuses on wooyoung's eyes now. san sits up and looks in the mirror, but he's not looking at himself. he's watching you pretend like a strand on your sweater is the most interesting thing in the world, so he decides to call your attention.
"y/n? what do you think?" san asks, and you meet his gaze through the mirror. you're shocked to realize he's checking you out, blatantly, your cardigan falling off your shoulder to reveal your bra underneath. you were in a rush this morning and thought that would be enough. surely no one would notice you weren't wearing a tank, since this bra could pass as long as your sweater stayed up. but right now it's not, so san can see an entire cup, and he's almost drooling. instead of answering his question you look over at jen and repeat your earlier compliments as you pull your sweater tight around your torso.
"yeah, it looks good," you say again. "now that he's awake and you can see his eyes, you did a good job, uh, highlighting them."
"eloquent," san chides, and this time you intentionally kick his chair. he grabs your ankle before you can pull back, and tugs, bringing you closer.
"big word," wooyoung whispers, and you can hear jen smack him as you lift your eyes to san's. he's looking at you with that hungry gaze you're coming to get used to, and he rewords his question.
"what do you like about it specifically?" he tries as he leans in, and you hold your breath as you stare. this is closer than you've ever been, and you can smell hints of cologne that have your head spinning. alarms are going off in your head to run, but with san's hand still on your leg, you're trapped.
"you drool in your sleep, you know that?" you decide to say, ignoring his question completely. he's surprised enough that his grip on you loosens and you're able to bolt from the chair, grabbing your things as you say a quick goodbye to jen and wooyoung. they're watching on, amused with your little show, and when you're fully out of the room san collapses back into the chair with a groan.
"she's right," jen says. "i had to get napkins to mop up your spit."
"sorry," san grumbles.
"when are you gonna tell her?" wooyoung asks, and san makes a confused sound to encourage him to explain. "y/n. when are you gonna say that you're into her?"
"i'm not into her," san rolls his eyes.
"yeah, right," wooyoung laughs. "and me and jen aren't fucking."
"hey!" and another smack. they continue bickering as san stares at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes falling to the chair you just occupied.
-
the next few days, you spend a lot of time in your studio. too much maybe, but you need to get this vocal track finished. all the boys have recorded their parts, and now it's down to you to get the final mix to the other producers by monday. it's friday now, and you know you can't pull any all nighters this weekend - the boys want you to come to their shows, so you'd like to be finished with the track before you leave today.
it's weird, being here so late at night. you think you're the last one left, hongjoong left with the rest of the members and the producers started trickling out about two hours ago. you don't mind being here on your own, you know the security is fine, but it's still eerie. when you got another coffee just now, you caught yourself jumping at the slightest sounds. you could've sworn you heard footsteps following you, but after investigating you realized it was the sound of your own that scared you. you hunker down for another spell in your studio, and you get a lot closer to the product you want. hongjoong kept telling you it didn't need to be perfect, it still had to go through critiques so it would probably change a lot, but you can't let your first project here be a mess. it at least needs to meet your standards, so you keep working.
you're not sure how much later it is, but you wake yourself when your head falls off your propped up arm. you fell asleep listening to the final track, wanting to check for any mistakes, so you don't know how long it's been looping while you slept. you listen through one last time, almost satisfied, but you hear something that sounds off. you try another listen, and realize it's not coming from your speakers, it's coming from somewhere else.
heart racing, you press your ear to the door of your studio and curse the sound proofing. you can make out a noise, but not enough to figure out what it is from the safety of this room. you look around for a weapon, something to protect you, and all you see are stray wires. you find one long enough and wrap it around your fists, pulling the wire taught between them. worst case scenario you garrote the intruder and then call for help, but you're being dramatic. whatever is out there can't be a threat, can it?
you open your studio door and follow the sound. in your tired state, you recognize a song, but you can't place it or where it's coming from. you tiptoe down the hall toward the practice rooms, and spy light coming from a door at the end of the hall. so it must be one of the members, you think. or maybe the bb trippin guys came early to prep for the show. whatever it is, you keep walking, aware now that the song you heard is wake up, one of your favorites. the boys were cryptic about the setlist, wanting it to be a surprise for you this weekend, but you get excited at the thought of what kind of mystical performance they could do for this song. when you reach the door, you stop cold, seeing maybe the last person you expected it to be.
san is dancing, quite sexually, to the music bumping through the speakers. he's in baggy sweats and a tank top that shows off his figure and his ridiculously chiseled muscles, and you can't help it. you stare, watching in awe as he drops it low and grinds around to a song you never expected to be portrayed like this. as he's on the ground, a tie hanging from his teeth, his eyes flick to yours through the mirror. you gasp, and he smirks, somehow able to catch the sound of your breath hitching over the loud music. he feels proud of himself, knowing he's got you so shocked, but when he finishes the portion he's working on, he looks to the mirror and you're gone.
you're rushing down the hall back to your studio. what the fuck was that. you had a physical reaction to san, and not a good one. and he saw you! that's humiliating, you'll never be able to look at him again-
"where ya goin doll?" his deep voice asks. he's right behind you, and before you can sprint off to your studio, he grabs your shoulders and pushes you against the nearest door. when you come face to face, he's breathing heavy, and you assume that's because of the intense choreography he just worked through. little do you know, being this close to you, smelling that annoying perfume that follows you around, touching you, all of this is taking his breath away. his hands trail down your shoulders to your hands, and he looks at you quizzically when he finds the wire wrapped tightly in your fists. "what's this?"
"i, uh, i thought i was the only one here? so when i heard something i looked for uh. i wanted something to protect myself with," you explain, embarrassed by how dramatic that sounds.
"you're a badass," san chuckles, lifting your hands by the wire hanging between them.
"i thought cursing wasn't polite," you remind him of his own words, and he laughs again.
"i just said that to piss you off."
"you're insufferable," you groan, trying to twist away from the man in front of you.
"and you're in a bit of a pickle, aren't you?" he smiles at you evilly. "can't get away, little kitten?"
"let go of me, san," you say steadily, but he just keeps smiling.
"why would i? i've finally got you right where i want you."
"what?" you breathe out.
"you couldn't tell? i've wanted you since i laid eyes on you."
"wanted me?" you scoff. "i'm not a steak."
"but you went and spilled that coffee on me, and then you were so delightful during our recording session, i just kept falling harder and harder for you," he teases.
"you're shit at showing how you feel."
"and you're shit at hiding how you feel," he smirks. "i know you want me, doll. that's why i acted the way i did. it was fun messing with you, letting you think i hated you. wanted to see how far i could push it."
"that's so middle school of you san," you complain, pushing your finger into his chest. "if you were a real man you would've done something about this already instead of playing a bunch of games."
"if i was a real man?" he chuckles lowly, and he's so close you feel it in your stomach. "baby, you haven't been with a real man til you've been with me."
"prove it," you whisper, but your breath gets caught as san pulls your hands above your head by the wire still wrapped around them. he holds your wrists in place as his other hand squeezes your waist, and he watches you squirm with glee in his eyes.
"prove it? you sure you can handle me doll?"
"do your your worst," you smirk, and then he's crashing his lips to yours. the kiss is fierce, all teeth and tongue, and you gasp as his hand travels up your waist and beneath your shirt. he traces the skin beneath your hoodie, smirking into your lips when he discovers you're not wearing a bra.
"i like it when you make things easy for me," he breathes out against your neck, his lips making their way across your skin and leaving little marks as he pleases. his hand beneath your shirt traces beneath each breast before leaving a featherlight trail to your nipple, and he surprises you with a quick pinch. you gasp again, giving him a chance to return his lips to your mouth and press his tongue past your lips. he kisses you one last time before pulling from your lips, asking, "should we take this inside?"
"wha?" you murmur, twisting to look at the door behind you. "but, san, this isn't my studio-"
"i know, it's hongjoong's," he says as he punches the code in. "he won't mind."
"i do!" you squeak out as san opens the door and pushes you inside. "san, seriously, we're not having sex in here!"
"we're having sex?" san teases, and you use your newly released hands to beat against his chest. "take that stupid wire off, baby. you're gonna need your hands."
"for what?" you grumble, listening to him anyway. when your hands are free, you notice the little indents left from the wire, and san surprises you by taking your hands into his softly. his thumb rubs over the raw skin, and he stares darkly at you as he lifts your hands to his lips. he kisses over the sore spots and up your wrists, whining cutely when he hits the fabric of your shirt.
"take this off," he tugs on your sleeve, and you shake your head.
"only if you take your shirt off too," you counter, and he easily lets go of you to remove his tank top. you hate the way you're staring, but you can't help it. he's beautiful, and you're mesmerized. he calls your name, the first time he's said it all night, and you find his eyes staring at you softly. "right, sorry," you mumble, pulling your hoodie off, not so accidentally catching it on your tits so they release with a bounce. san groans as he watches on, and then his hands are on you again, cupping your tits and teasing your nipples. you moan softly, reaching for his head to pull him into another kiss. your hands wrap around to his neck, one sweeping down to feel his soft, sweaty skin. you trace over the muscles in his chest, the lines of his abs, and end at his waistband. his hand reaches down to stop you before you can continue, and he pulls back to ask, "do you trust me?"
"do i trust you? not completely," you answer honestly. "maybe you don't hate me as much as you made me believe, but i still think you're despicable."
"if i'm so despicable why are you letting me use you like a toy?" he jokes, pushing you down into hongjoong's desk chair. "if you trust me, i want you to do something for me. if you don't, tell me to shut up, and we'll go back to having sex. but it'll be more boring that way."
"can i get that in writing, you saying that sex with you is boring?" you tease, and san growls as he captures your lips in another kiss. he's caging you in, and when he releases your lips, he leans his forehead against yours as he speaks.
"start a new file on his computer," san says lowly. "and hit record when i say."
"you're kidding."
"like i said, do it if you trust me," he shrugs, his hands moving from the armrests to your waist. he starts tugging your pants down as he continues. "if you don't trust me, then we just fuck like normal and go on with our lives."
"san, i-"
"are you gonna make the file?" he asks, kneeling in front of you. you open and close your mouth like a fish, but then you're moving without thinking. you twist in his hold, punching in hongjoong's password and finding the mixing app. you start a new project, label it inconspicuously, and then settle back in the chair. san is looking at you proudly, and he praises you, "good girl."
"what now?" you ask quietly, and san separates your legs further. he starts kissing up your leg, starting at your knee, and when he gets to your panties, he whispers, "i make you come."
he pulls yours panties down then, hissing as he watches your arousal cling to the fabric, and he smiles. "oh, she's pretty."
"i didn't know you were capable of giving me a compliment," you quip, and san bites your thigh to shut you up.
"wasn't talking to you," he says against your skin, leaving kisses along the inside of your thigh until he reaches your core. he brings his hands up to spread you open for him, and he stares in admiration at how wet you are, just for him. he leans in and you wait to feel his lips, his tongue, something, but instead you feel something wet land on your clit. san spit on your pussy, and he brings his hand up to rub the sensitive spot as he blows on your entrance.
"i thought you said you were gonna make me come," you whine, and he nods.
"i will. when i want to."
"san-" you whimper, lifting your hips as he continues playing with your clit and neglecting the rest of you.
"you want more doll?" he asks, his eyes staring at you darkly. you look down at him and nod, but he pinches your thigh in response. "words, baby."
"want more, san," you groan. "need your tongue."
"hit record and i'll give you what you want," he smirks below you, and you're so horny you can't even think about fighting back. you turn around and press record, san's lips finding your clit immediately. he licks over the bundle of nerves, prodding a finger at your entrance as he listens to your sweet moans. he fucks his finger into you once, twice, then adds another. you whine above him, your hands catching on his hair as you try to push him closer. he licks up every drop of you, fucking you on his fingers, and moans into your pussy for good measure. the vibration seends you reeling, and you whisper out, "fuck, san."
"who?"
"san, fuck! feels so good."
"yeah? you wanna come?" he asks, leaning his head on your thigh as he stares at you writhing above him. you're watching him with hooded eyes as he adds another finger, fucking you open for him. you lift your hips again, trying to make him move faster. "d'you still hate me, doll?"
"no," you whisper shyly, and he smiles.
"say it louder."
"i don't hate you," you moan out, his fingers scissoring you open as his lips return to your clit. he sucks harshly, and you let out a whine that turns into a frustrated scream. "faster."
"hm?"
"faster, please," you beg, "please, please, fuck. 'm gonna come."
"let me hear you, baby," he mumbles into your core. "who's making you feel so good?"
"san, you, fuck-" your voice tapers off as you hold your breath and crash into your release. you're clenching around san so deliciously, he groans into your clit and does his best to help you ride out your high. you're trying to catch your breath as. san cleans you up, slurping obscenely, and in your post-nut clarity you realize what you've done. you turn around, frantically trying to stop the recording, but san stands above you and catches your hands again.
"what are you doing?" he growls, and you blubber out a response.
"he can't, we can't, i have to delete it, i'm not-"
"not what? not enjoying yourself?" san asks. "because i'm looking at a dripping pussy that tells a different story."
"we need to go somewhere else," you hiss, and san shakes his head.
"i think we're doing fine right here," he smirks, kissing you deeply so you can taste yourself on his tongue. you bite his bottom lip as he tries to pull away, and he groans.
"is it my turn now?" you ask, and you watch fire spark across san's eyes.
"your turn to what, baby?"
"drive you insane?" you ask innocently, pushing san away so you can stand. you keep pushing him until he hits the wall, and you drop to your knees. you waste no time pulling his pants down, revealing his lack of underwear. you look up at him and ask, "you makin things easy for me, babe?"
"no," he smirks down at you. "bet you can't even fit it in your mouth."
"you're full of yourself," you point out as you spit into your hand. you bring it to his cock, stroking over his soft skin. "you liked eating me out this much?"
"it wasn't bad," san nods. "wouldn't mind doing it again."
"maybe later," you mumble, bringing his tip to your lips. you spit again, watching as it dribbles down his shaft, you stroke him a few more times, flicking your tongue over his tip teasingly. he's trying so hard not to lose it above you, and the way he's biting his lip to keep quiet pisses you off. without warning, you swallow him whole, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you try to fit him all in your mouth. he cries out above you, his hands tangling in your hair. he pulls you off of him completely, gasping for breath above you. "hey. i wasn't done."
"not gonna last," he says shyly, and you feel your ego grow ten sizes. "need to fuck you."
"eh, i'm getting tired-"
"shut up," he growls, pulling you up by your hair and slamming his lips into yours again. "go bend over his desk."
"you're sick," you tell him, obeying anyway.
"you're into it," san says cockily, adjusting your hips as he comes up behind you. "make sure you're right up to the mic, doll. wanna hear this." you hate yourself for it, but you find the mic in front of you and pull it closer. you feel his hands on your ass, pulling you apart as he stares at your pussy again. "so pretty for me," he sighs, removing a hand to bring his cock to your entrance. he teases your hole a few times, laughing when you jerk back and try to catch his tip. "impatient girl."
"just fuck me," you say clearly, and he responds by giving you exactly what you want. he thrusts into you, splitting you open, and you moan so loud it's embarrassing. san stays still, giving you a minute to adjust, but you start fucking back into him, and he gets the hint. he grabs onto your ass again, and then he's fucking into with no control. your mouth hangs open as he fucks you hard and fast, and san frowns. he smacks your ass and feels you clench around him as he barks, "lemme hear you." so you moan, and whine, and altogether let go. you're a babbling mess, mumbling incoherently about how good it feels, how he fucks you just right, how his cock is perfect, you can't stop. san is eating it up, fucking into you so deep you can feel him in your gut.
too soon, he's pulling out, and you let out a pathetic cry. san pulls you up by your hips, his hands smoothing over your skin, as he explains, "wanna watch you when you come." he helps you sit on hongjoong's desk, lifting your legs up so you're completely exposed to him. he holds your thighs open and tries to fuck back into you, but you have to help him, taking his wet cock and guiding it back to your entrance. he thrusts into you, slotting his hips against yours, and your eyes roll to the back of your head. he should've fucked you like this the whole time, he thinks, because he can't stop staring. you look so perfect, so blissed out, and it spurs him on. he holds one thigh down as his other hand wraps around your waist, holding you in place as he fucks you.
"i'm gonna come, baby," he warns. "where do you want it?"
"my stomach," you gasp out. "wanna see it."
"fuck, you're insane."
"don't slow down," you whine, holding onto san's broad shoulders like your life depends on it. you let him fuck you senseless, clenching around him as you get closer. he brings his hand around to rub his thumb over your clit, and you jerk away in sensitivity. "can't take it, san, gonna come-"
"then come for me," he begs. "need you to come first."
"fuck, san, fuck," you gasp, digging into his shoulders as you hold him in place. you clench around him until he can't take it anymore, and he pulls out, his forehead against yours as you watch him stroke himself. he comes quickly, painting your skin, and you moan breathlessly as you watch him empty himself over you. "fuck, that's hot."
"we should do that again," san smirks at you, and you playfully push against his chest. you leave your hands on him as you respond, "not now. i'm exhausted."
"how long have you been here?" san asks, sudden concern in his voice.
"too long," you sigh, noticing how raw your throat feels. you cough, your back bumping into the mic behind you. "oh shit. i need to turn this off." you look at san as you crouch down, saving the file and sending it to yourself. "what the hell am i supposed to do with this?"
"listen to it when you get lonely?" san jokes, and you push him. "use it in a song, maybe?"
"that would get me fired," you inform him, making sure you've deleted all traces of it from hongjoong's computer. satisfied, you turn to san and cross your arms over your chest. "was this your plan all along? you get me to record a salacious audio and then blackmail me with it?"
"you still think i hate you?" he asks, brushing your hair behind your ear. "bummer. thought we'd moved past that after your first orgasm."
"i'm just saying, if this was an elaborate plan to get me to leave, i commend the effort-"
"y/n," he says softly, and you meet his eyes. they're serious for once, which is odd. "i don't hate you, and i don't want to get you fired."
"good to know," you squeak. his gaze is too intense for you, so you start looking for your clothes and then remember the mess on your stomach. "oh, yuck-"
"here, let me clean you up," san says, searching for tissues. he holds onto you carefully as he wipes up his release, pulling a few extra tissues to clean the mess between your legs.
"see, if you'd just let me help you like this on my first day, we wouldn't have been mortal enemies for so long," you joke.
"yeah, but we wouldn't have fucked like that if i had been nice to you from the start."
"so what now?" you ask as you get dressed. "you said you wanna do that again?"
"don't you?" san asks, his pants halfway up his legs. you unashamedly stare at his cock before you respond, but he's got his answer.
"i mean, if you want-"
"i do," he interjects. "whenever you want me. i'll be there."
"is this what everyone means, when they say you're so nice?" you ask genuinely. san comes over to you, wrapping his hands around your waist before he kisses you.
"guess you'll have to find out, huh?"
#san#ateez#choi san#ateez smut#ateez one shot#ateez imagine#ateez fic#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#san x reader#san fic#san smut#san one shot#san imagine#choi san x reader#choi san smut#choi san imagine#choi san one shot
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So..? |Kakashi Hatake X Civilian! Reader| HC
Summary: Kakashi finally musters up the courage to ask you out.
Warnings: Nothing, really. Pretty tame. Civilian reader.
Masterlist Ko-fi
- - - - -
You worked in the hospital. It was nothing spectacular; the shifts are long, it can get a bit over crowded, and sometimes you don't even have time for a meal, but it's honest work.
You were decent with medical ninjutsu. You could heal cuts and bruises, but anything more was outside your skill set.
You have your fair share of regulars, Kakashi being one of them.
Sometimes, he's in and out - just there for a few stitches or a mandatory check-up after a long mission. Sometimes it's longer, like after his battle with Itachi or the Kazekage's retrieval.
You scold him every time for being reckless.
"Kakashi, you know what happens when you overuse your sharingan. Can't you at least try to be a bit more careful?"
He always dismisses you, promising that everything he does it put of 100% necessity.
You roll your eyes and fix him up regardless.
Its a lucky thing that you always end up taking care of him, or at least you think it is.
He's actually using his social pull to end up wherever you are. Kakashi Hatake, the copy cat ninja, is very well known and has earned more favors than he could ever cash in.
He remembers the first time he met you - it was several years ago, in this very hospital. He'd been injured during one of his Anbu missions and needed some critical care.
The hospital was swamped that day, and you were new. He could tell by how anxious you were. It was lucky that you had ended up with him, someone who wasn't picky about his treatment and wasn't bothered by nerves.
There was something about you, though he wasn't sure what. Yes, you're pretty, but he's seen lots of pretty girls. Maybe it was the confidence you emitted despite the cluster of the environment. Maybe it was the gentle way you touched him as yo wrapped his arm or the feeling of your chakra on his skin.
Either way, it stuck with him, and all the feelings he felt have only intensified over time.
Which is where we are now.
Eventually, he sees you outside of the hospital. A rare sight, really. He's perfectly healthy, between missions, and not being dragged around by his students for once.
Your last shift of the week just ended. You're carrying home your weekly grocery haul when he spots you and basically demands to carry some most of your bags.
He tries to chat you up, along about work, hobbies... potential partners?
"So what have you been doing outside of work, hm? Interesting... I see. And you do all of this by yourself, or..?"
You laugh, knowing he's fishing for specific information. He already knows you pretty well after seeing him so often at work. Maybe he forgot that fact in his stupor.
However, slick Kakashi thinks he's been all this time, knock it down by 60%.
You may not be a shinobi like him, but you're very well aware of people.
"No, Kakashi, I don't have a boyfriend."
He plays it off. Shoving his hands in his pockets and pretends not to be borderline giddy at this newfound information.
Once you reach your apartment, you have no problem allowing him entry so he can set your groceries down on your counter.
He looks around while you put things away. Everything embodied you perfectly. The plants, the color scheme, the decor. It was perfect.
Once you're finished, he becomes nervous again.
"So..."
"So?" You ask expectantly.
"Would you wanna meet up with me sometime? As a thank you for all you've done for me over the years, of course."
"Of course," you mock him lightly, crinkling your nose.
"I'd love to."
He let's out an animated breath.
"I'll pick you up tonight at 6? We can head to..."
The plans are set. Now, it's just a matter of patience before this long-awaited date.
Although you've been looking forward to this day for so many years, the anxiety is still there, and you're wondering how it'll go and if he likes you.
Little did you know he's having the same thoughts.
What if you didn't like him? What if he just damaged your friendship (could it even be called that considering how confined they had been to the hospital?) and now he's lost someone else because he's stupid?
Only time will tell, so may as well just shove down the nerves and prepare for what could be the beginning of something great.
#kakashi fluff#kakashi hatake#kakashi x reader#kakashi sensei#kakashi headcanons#naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto x reader#naruto headcanons#anime#anime headcanons
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wishful thinking. (07)
chapter seven: built to break
summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.
pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; the gorlies are fighting...?, not much for warnings in this chapter ig word count: 4.3k note: i finally got off my ass and wt is finally back lol. i had a last minute change of plans and thought "oh! you know what would be pretty neat? if we prolong the angst so everyone can be sad for longer!" <3 and this is how i announce that the next chapter is not wt8 but wt7.5 and it's written from his pov <3 merry christmas
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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I’ll hold my breath as I wait for your answer I’ll leave it up to you Tell me whether it’s yes or no Baby, love me or leave me tonight
Love Me or Leave Me - Day6
The warning signs, they're there. You can see them before they materialize. You know your own tells.
Your metaphorical bags are packed, your shoes are already on. You're about to run again, leave a half empty house before it has the chance to become a home. No one has to tell you that you're a flight risk; you're well aware of it yourself.
Wednesday Min: got plans tonight? You: booked and busy with ze old canvas Min: tomorrow? You: same thing probably. sorry Min: u're working hard lately You: yeah this one is just driving me crazy and i need it to turn out decent Min: it'll be perfect. it's u
Thursday Min: running errands at the store Min: want me to bring u anything? that caramel popcorn u like?
Friday Min: don't work too hard. remember to eat
That was three days ago, the last time you'd heard from him after you left him on read. It wasn't a complete lie; this project is driving you kinda crazy and you do need it to end up a decent piece, but you weren't exactly holed up in your apartment to slave over your painting. And you suppose Minho didn't find it all that suspicious because you tend to do this sometimes - disappear for a couple of days and force yourself to focus whenever you had a project to finish, before you come back to everybody again. You've come back to him before; it stands to reason that you'll do it again.
It's been about two weeks since you'd seen him, though the memories of that evening are still fresh in your mind - the evening of the group dinner, when he'd kissed you goodnight and left for his parents' house the following day. True to his words, he did send you pictures of the cats - ones of Soonie wearing a matching hoodie with him, a few of Doongie and Dori napping at the foot of his bed. There was an accompanying text - The kids miss you - along with a frowning emoji, and it made you wonder if what he really meant was I miss you.
You wanted him to miss you, because you missed him too.
The photos brought a smile to your face despite the predicament you found yourself in. A smile that was short lived, a smile that was soon wiped off when you realized your heart shouldn't be swelling with that much affection for him. It shouldn't, but the truth was that it did and you don't know how to live with it.
Love isn't something you've ever learned to hold.
It's beautiful yet full of thorns, and your hands are too clumsy to ever keep it from slipping from your fingers.
You remember when you first met Minho. Freshman year, at some popular senior's house party.
It feels like forever ago when you were just an awkward freshman at orientation who didn't have a single clue on how to make friends. Jess was your first friend in college, and you'll always be grateful that you got along well enough that she adopted you into the group with the rest of the guys.
You didn't cross paths with Minho until you were already acquainted with everyone else. On the night of the party, you remember being enamored with him for those couple of hours, and it wasn't the side effect of too many solo cups of cheap beer. Who in their right mind wouldn't be infatuated with him? He was beautiful, absolutely alluring, and you would always tell him as much.
Back then, he had brown hair, slighter shorter than now but it was tinted with the most gorgeous shade of red. You didn't know much about Minho, only been told that he was pretty quiet and might be off-putting to new people. It was sort of true; that night, you were intimidated by the aura he exuded. Mysterious, couldn't be bothered, didn't seem to give a shit. He looked like a scary little thing, while you were the new kid who was only trying to observe everyone's dynamics, not wanting to overstep any unspoken boundary.
To this day, you're still not sure what really happened, how you two immediately clicked and he's been one of the most important parts of your life ever since.
Maybe it was just him. Maybe it's always been him.
Minho, the one who makes you smile when all you want to do is curl up and cry. The one who makes you laugh when you look for joy but the search comes up empty. The one who grounds you every time you lose your way. Your anchor, the safe harbor you can always return to. The light at the end of a long, long tunnel.
You don't know where you stand, don't know where it goes from here now that everything is changing. He told you so himself, that nothing changed for him, but how could he possibly know that everything is changing for you? And it infuriates you to no end because you don't even have anyone to talk about this with. You're the only person whose world is being turned upside down after all.
You can't tell your friends because they can't know about you and Minho. You can't tell Minho because what would you even say? That you think you're in love with him? That the implications of what it means are devastating to you?
For the first time, you regret everything. Kissing him that night, sleeping with him, becoming whatever this is with him. Letting down your guard and falling for him somewhere along the way and you didn't even stop to notice it. You regret all of the decisions you've made up until now, because they've only led you to the point of no return, the point of losing him. You made bad decision after bad decision after bad decision, until you couldn't anymore. All along, there's been no one else to blame but you.
Maybe it hasn't happened yet, but it's inevitable. You will lose him. You are going to lose him.
There's no other ending, no other alternative that you can imagine. You're going to leave because you're a coward and it's what you do best. You ruin things before they get a chance to hurt you. You leave because if you don't leave then you'll be left behind, and you'd rather not bear the brunt of it.
Now, when you think of Minho, the thought is always accompanied by a painful reminder - Nothing changed for him.
When you get to the cafe, Hyunjin and Seungmin are already seated in a corner booth, three drinks in front of them, one of which they'd ordered for you before you arrived.
You slide into the seat next to Hyunjin, smiling at him appreciatively for the drink. There's still over half an hour before you have to walk to your shared class, over half an hour before Seungmin parts ways with you two to do whatever or whoever it is that Seungmin does on his off days.
"I still think it's Nara," Hyunjin says, casually sipping his iced coffee.
"Nara from your Lit class last semester?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
"I saw them talking at a party once."
"Okay. And?"
"And what? That's it."
"That's... all the evidence you have to back up your claim?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
You wave your hands in front of them. "What are you bozos talking about?"
"He’s still trying to figure out who Minho is hooking up with," Seungmin is the one who answers you without missing a beat, then he turns back to Hyunjin. "Anyway, it can't be Nara. She's dating Jaehyun on the basketball team."
The friend next to you flails his arms like a petulant child, like he couldn't have possibly seen this coming, like he was so sure that he had finally solved the mystery. "Great. I'm back to square one again."
You straighten your back and reach for your drink, tentatively gulping down the beverage as if it'll hide the fact that you've gone stiff the second this topic is brought up. You feel bad about it, sure. These are your friends that you're lying to after all. They don't have to look anywhere far; the answer to the secret is right in front of them.
"We're still on about that?" you ask in the calmest, most nonchalant voice you can muster. You usually consider yourself a believable liar (which, to be honest, isn't really a flex at all), but whenever someone mentions this little arrangement between you and Minho that shouldn't be common knowledge for anyone else, you feel like you're been put under a spotlight for the whole world to scrutinize.
"Duh," Hyunjin says. "You know, I'm kinda surprised that you don't know. You two are like, attached at the hip sometimes."
You give him a thoughtless shrug, your hands fiddling with the sticker on the plastic cup as you avoid looking at either of your friends. "Maybe he just wants to keep private things private, y'know? You wouldn't like either if all of us is suddenly all up in your business. And besides, what if it's just casual?"
Hyunjin scoffs. "Please, I'm an open book. I tell you guys everything. I tell you every time I hook up with someone."
"Yeah, but you see, literally no one needs to know that," Seungmin says.
The taller one only scoffs, waving his hands around dismissively in Seungmin's direction before he turns to you. "If it was just casual, would he save her name as - oh my God, I forgot what her contact name is. Freaking bird person or something."
You make a face. "What?"
"Dude, seriously?" Seungmin rolls his eyes. "You forgot one word? Dove? What is the matter with you?"
Perhaps it's the half-hearted teasing judgment in Seungmin's voice that makes Hyunjin take offense and drop the topic. The conversation veers off course when they start bickering like children in the busy cafe. You suppose it works in your favor, but you can't focus. You drown it all out.
Your hand is still on the cup but the sticker has been left alone and forgotten, half peeled off, half still clinging to the plastic underneath the condensation.
The single word repeats itself in your mind, over and over and over again.
The entire time you're in class, you don't really focus on anything. You can't bring yourself to listen to whatever your professor is saying, not after what Hyunjin and Seungmin told you earlier. At some point, your friend has to nudge your shoulder to bring you back down to earth when usually, you're the one who has to remind Hyunjin to pay attention. Class ends soon enough though; time tends to fly by when your mind is lost elsewhere.
"What's wrong with you today?" he asks with his bag slung over his shoulder, slowing down his steps to match your speed as you walk out of the lecture hall together.
You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. "Nothing's wrong. I was just tired."
"You wanna grab dinner with me and Felix?"
Any other day, you would've agreed in a heartbeat. But today, you want to be alone. Sometimes, you'd rather wallow in your own misery than settle for a temporary distraction.
You're still stuck on the conversation from earlier, on the small detail that Hyunjin and Seungmin had let slip in the cafe.
Dove.
His dove.
Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it's only a nickname that he's assigned to you out of mere platonic fondness, but it makes you conscious about the dove on your own wrist nonetheless, the one that you feel compelled to hide from your friends underneath your long sleeve.
"No, it's okay," you tell Hyunjin. "I'll just go home and sleep it off."
"Okay. I can walk you for a bit," he says. "Just wait with me here. Minho's coming to give me back something he borrowed."
"Minho's coming?" you ask too quickly for it to sound casual. There's a panicked edge that you can hear in your own voice, though you don't think Hyunjin picks it up as he unlocks his phone and types something on the screen.
"Yeah, he was at the library. He's coming over right now, should only be a couple minutes. Then I'll walk back with you."
You shift on your feet uneasily, but you cover it up by rubbing your hands on your arms to pretend like you're just cold. There's no excuse that you could think of that would justify why you can't stand here with Hyunjin for just two more minutes, without giving it away the fact that you're avoiding Minho.
You take in a quiet breath, put on your best brave face. Casual, nonchalant. It's just Minho. Just Minho...
He comes up from behind, where you can't see him. A warm hand gently lands on your shoulder, and it takes everything not to shy away from his touch. It takes even more not to lean into his side.
You've missed it. You've missed him.
"Hey." He smiles at you while Hyunjin only gets a nod in acknowledgment.
"Hey." You return the smile, though you're sure you look a little rigid. You can tell there's an inkling of confusion in his eyes when he senses that your energy is off, but you're thankful he doesn't comment on it, at least not in front of Hyunjin anyway.
You don't notice the paper bag in his other hand until he hands it to your other friend with a simple Thanks, to which Hyunjin just nods along in a silent You're welcome.
"I was going to walk with Y/N for a bit and then meet Felix for food," he tells Minho. "You wanna get burgers with me and Lix?"
"No, thanks. I'm not hungry, I had a late lunch. I'll take the walk though."
You didn't plan on being alone with Minho today, even though you knew you had to talk to him eventually. You just thought you had a little more time, at least until you got your shit together and face him with a brave façade.
Minho's hand brushes yours the entire time you walk, and it's nothing if not confusing. It's unbearable, the way your fingers twitch with the urge to intertwine them with his.
It persists even after Hyunjin has waved you goodbye to you two and turned to head wherever he and Felix agreed to meet. You think Minho would hold your hand now that it's just you and him, but he doesn't. He lets your skin continue to brush, lets you suffer alone and wanting in your sunken disappointment.
It has very little to do with him and everything to do with you, the conflicting thoughts inside your head piling up one by one the more time you spend in his presence.
Dove, the brief display of jealousy at Yeonjun's party, the way he looks at you sometimes that you can't really decipher the meaning behind, how he kisses you so tenderly that it can't possibly be strictly platonic. You want these things to all mean something, and yet...
You want him to hold your hand, but you know you'd wave it off if he tries to reach for your fingers. You want him to stop you right then and there to kiss you breathless, just as he had that night two weeks ago, even though you're sure you'd only dodge his lips and push him away. You want to stay, you want to leave. You're terrified of things changing, but you wish that something, anything, would be different for him; that you aren't the only one who's spinning out of control. You love him, but you wish you didn't.
Eventually, Minho asks, "You okay?"
It's not until now that you realize this is the first time you've ever been this quiet around him. You purse your lips, glancing down briefly at your feet as you keep on treading the rest of the way home. "Yeah, all good. I'm just tired," you tell him, visibly unenthusiastic despite the smile you try to fake. "I just need to sleep it off."
"The project stressing you out?"
"I guess, yeah."
"And here I thought maybe you were avoiding me," he says, half a joke, half inquisitive. "Were you?"
"Was I what?"
"Were you avoiding me?"
You give him a weird look, one that's meant to be dismissive and call his question ridiculous even though you know you've been caught. And maybe it's the over-the-top glance that you throw his way and the way your pitch goes higher when you reply, "Why would I be avoiding you?" that makes him stop walking.
On the other side of the street, there's a couple of kids in high school uniforms, exchanging shy glances and sharing fond giggles.
Minho calls your name softly, and it's like you're just waiting for the ball to drop. You don't want to turn back and look at him, but what other option do you have? What else is there to do?
You can't decipher the expression on his face. He's still calm, but the air has turned serious, the silence of the mostly empty streets surrounding you only serves as the soundtrack of your impending heartbreak. The tender and innocent laughter fades away when young love moves further and further from where you stand. "What?" you ask with faux nonchalance as you look at him, another attempt at stalling. Biding your time even though a few more minutes aren't going to do any good for your case.
Anyone with half a braincell could tell that clearly it's not the truth, let alone someone who has learned to read you better than the back of his hand. He doesn't look like he believes you, though he doesn't push it, much to your surprise.
"Okay," he says after a moment of studying you, and this should be the part where you heave a sigh of relief because he's letting you off the hook for now, but your chest doesn't feel lighter at all. Your head is clouded with dread, with the anticipation that you're only delaying the inevitable.
You walk the rest of the way in awful silence, because you know that he knows something is wrong. You try your best to appear composed, but he sees right through you. You know he does.
You must look like a frightened animal, one that's about to take off running any second now.
When you reach your building, Minho is quick to keep you with him before you can make up a lame excuse and bolt.
"Hey," he starts, his voice so impossibly gentle that it hurts. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Heavier and heavier, it weighs you down until you feel like your chest is going to collapse. The nerves gnaw on you, clawing into you until you feel your heartbeat quicken, the overwhelming dread simmering low in your belly.
"I know," you say, but deep down, what you're really thinking is, Not this. This is the one thing I can't tell you.
"Is everything okay?"
It's the way that Minho's got his gaze set on you with those deep brown irises, the concern so apparent in them that it hurts you. It's the way he looks like he wants to reach out and touch you - a comforting hand on your shoulder or your back like you're so familiar with - but he has to hold himself back or you might slip away.
It's him, how he always puts you first, how he cares about you in ways that you've never been cared about before. He understands you, he sees you. It feels like it could be love if you let the lines blur just enough.
Is love supposed to hurt? Like this?
Maybe it's not that you don't know how to hold love. Maybe it's because you're not meant to hold it at all. Insignificant, unlovable.
And... it's the reminder that cuts through the dread like the sharpest knife.
You leave his question unanswered, because nothing is okay and you can't tell him any of it. You can't lie to him either, because it's the last thing that you want to do to him.
Instead, you ask, "We're good... right? We're okay?"
"What do you mean?"
You gesture between the two of you, though you're not sure what that's supposed to signify. "Just...," you trail off for a second, hesitant. "Nothing's changed, right?"
Minho doesn't answer right away. He looks at you for a moment, searching for something in your eyes that you can't tell if he's able to find.
He nods, seemingly wistful as he says, "Nothing's changed."
He seems unsure about it, at least more than he was just a few weeks ago when he told you the same thing in your apartment with his fingers wrapped around your wrist. The tug between his brows - though barely noticeable - tells you as much.
Is it because something is different now? Or does he only sound uncertain out of concern, because of you and how you're acting?
Then he continues, "For me, at least."
And there it is.
It's the confirmation this time around that turns you inside out so his simple words could cut into you.
You swallow thickly, put on a smile like you're pleased with his answer even though you're trying your hardest to stop yourself from shaking. Whatever energy you had left is instantly drained from you just because of a few words.
Your sentences get smashed together, tangled up like barbed wire and they only make you bleed when you try to pull them apart. All your nervous tics coming out to play despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. A frustrated hand running through your hair, gripping at the roots a little harshly. Your bottom lip pulled between your teeth and your eyes turning glassy for a split second before you blink the moisture away, because you can't let Minho see you like this. See you trying to keep your pathetic heart intact while he's none the wiser.
He's fine. And unlike you, he's going to be okay when this is over.
Unavoidable and inevitable, the end will come whether you like it or not. You're the only one who won't make it out unscathed, and it will only shatter you into more pieces the longer you drag this out.
Just rip the bandaid off. Salvage whatever you can. Stop digging the grave even deeper for yourself.
One second, then two, then three. You don't speak until you have enough faith that your voice is even enough to carry out a few sentences.
"Okay, uhm... I think I need some time for myself. We should..." But it isn't, and you crack halfway through. The sound is deafening to your own ears. "We should take a break. We should stop this."
Minho doesn't question if you mean the secret between the two of you, or your friendship entirely. Instead, he asks, "Why?"
"I told you." You clear your throat. "I need time for myself."
You can't tell what he's thinking, but the knife twists inside of you nonetheless.
He takes a step closer, you take a step back.
You watch as his face falls, and the same feeling mirrors itself within the confines of your ribcage. Your heart drops at the sight of his eyes, deep brown irises stained with a little confusion, then a little hurt though it lasts for only a few seconds. The slight slump of his shoulders, the absence of the familiar playfulness he always sports when he's with you.
He blinks.
"Time for yourself, or time away from me?"
You say nothing.
You don't address his question directly, and your reluctance to do so is a loud enough answer in and of itself. "Why does that matter? What's the difference?"
"It matters if I did something to upset you."
"You didn't."
"Okay. So?"
This is confusing, because he's not letting you rip the bandaid clean off and you don't know why. "Nothing's changed, right? If it didn't mean anything to you, why can't you just drop this?"
Minho is quiet for a beat. His eyes are searching again, but this time, you think he finds something.
Everything is still and you hate it - the silence of the streets, the scrutinizing orange glow of the streetlights as if they're watching the scene unfold, even the innocent cat that's sitting by itself on the balcony on one of the floors higher up. You hate all of it.
"I never said it didn't mean anything," he tells you.
It makes you a little angry for some reason, and there's enough red to cloud your vision because his words are contradicting and you're tired, you're so exhausted that you can't focus on what it is that he's really saying.
"So you lied to me?"
"I've never lied to you."
"I asked you before and you said nothing's changed. Now you're saying whatever this is didn't not mean anything. Make up your mind."
It gets redder when he keeps his eyes fixed on you, still so calm despite the frown that has returned to its place between his brows. Still so collected, while you're being pulled apart at the seams.
The ball doesn't drop the way you expect it to. It keeps falling so insufferably slowly, hanging over you like it's mocking you for being stupid, like it's milking every second of suspense to make you implode.
Until Minho speaks next and suddenly, it feels like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. His voice, still so soft and tender. His eyes, reading something in yours that you can't bear to admit out loud.
"You really don't see it, do you?"
all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 24.06.2024]
#stray kids fic#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#skz fic#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz x you#lee know fluff#lee know angst#lee know smut#lee know scenarios#lee know x reader#lee know imagines#lee know x you#lee minho x reader#lee minho x you#stray kids#lee know#lee minho#fic: wishful thinking
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Everything Could Be Okay: Chapter 4
Rhys x Tamlin's sister!reader
Summary: You tell Feyre about the bond and come up with an idea
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2.1k
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
You're surprised your pacing hasn't worn a hole in the floor. You had finished your bath and dressed. Eaten the food that had been brought in for you, and even braided your hair. But you couldn't convince yourself to leave the relative safety of this room. Because you knew yourself and you knew that you wouldn't be delicate about it. No, the moment you see Feyre, you're going to just blurt it all out. And you're not sure how she’ll react. You love her as if she were actually your sister. Some days, you feel as if you may love her more than your brother. You're not sure you could stand it if she hated you. So here you are, pacing like a coward. You suppose you should just do it. A wound doesn’t hurt any less if you know it’s coming.
You wipe your hands on the pants of the night court attire, trying not to squirm. It was the first time you had ever worn pants and you weren't sure how you felt about the way the material gathered between your legs. It'd have to do for now, there weren't any dresses in the wardrobe.
You finally force yourself to leave the bedroom, heading for the library. You linger outside for a moment before taking a breath and walking in over to where Feyre sits. You pull the chair out and sit across from her, but the moment she looks up from the paper and sets the quill down, your nerves get the best of you, and you stand back up, starting to pace again. Feyre watches you, curious.
“What is it?”
“Rhys. Rhysand is my mate.” You pick at the cuff of the shirt.
“Oh. Does that mean you're going to stay here?”
“No. I'll still go back to Spring with you when it's time.” You look at her, trying to gauge her reaction, but her face is blank, expressionless.
“Why?”
“Because I don't want you to have to deal with the fallout by yourself. And because I don't want to leave you there alone.”
“I wouldn't be alone. I have Tamlin.”
“Feyre…” You barely manage to hold back a sigh.
“What?”
“Do you want to marry him?” You reach for her hand, trying to offer comfort, but she pulls her hand away, anger dancing across her features.
“Why do you keep asking me that?”
“Because I don't think you do.”
“I think you should stay here.”
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from flinching, uncertain why the words hurt so much. “Why do you think that?”
“Because you're miserable there. That's why you think I don't want to marry Tamlin. Because you're worried about me ending up like you. But I won't. Because I love him and he loves me.” You do flinch that time. Were you truly so miserable that everyone knew it? You had thought you had done a good job hiding it around Feyre at the very least, and the realization makes guilt sink in your stomach like lead.
“Is that enough for you? Is the life he will allow you enough? Planning parties and birthing heirs?”
“Do you think your life here will be anything different?” Her words sting. Rhys was nothing like Tamlin.
“That’s not the point, Feyre.” You press your palms against your legs, breathing deep, to try to keep your temper at bay.
“No? What is the point then?” Feyre crosses her arms, her gaze hard.
“You're already miserable in Spring, but you're not trapped. At least not yet. That doesn't have to be your life.” You sit down across from her, trying to soften your gaze, eyes pleading.
“You're not trapped if you want to be there. I just… I just need the mating bond to snap and then everything will be better.”
You nod, chewing your lip, reaching for her hand again. She uncrosses her arms, letting you take it this time. An olive branch, you suppose.
“You think you're mates?”
She nods. “I do.”
You force a smile. “Well, now I understand why you got so defensive when I suggested you didn't want to marry him. I'm sorry, Feyre.”
She smiles back. “So am I. I could have told you. So… Rhys is your mate? How do you feel about that?”
You blow out a breath, slumping in the chair. “I… Need some time to wrap my head around it.”
She nods. “Because of your family?”
You manage to hold back a grimace. Of course Tamlin told her about that. You're sure he left out the part that made him look bad. The reason why Rhys and the previous High Lord had killed your family.
“Not really. I spent more time in close proximity to our family than Tamlin did. Aside from our mother… They were not good males. They deserved what happened to them.” You notice the way Feyre's eyes widen in surprise. She looks like she has more questions she wants to ask, but you keep talking. “No, I'm not quite ready to move on yet. I need a little more time.” She pulls her hand away, guilt shadowing her face. You can see it as she retreats into herself. You stand from your chair, walking around the table to kneel in front of her, taking both of her hands in yours.
“I will never, ever, blame you Feyre. You never have and never will be to blame for what I lost. I wish you could have come into our lives another way, because you have become like a sister to me and I am so glad that I have gotten to know you.”
You're both tearing up, but Feyre is smiling, and you do too.
“You've become like a sister to me too. Can I ask you something?”
You nod. “Of course, anything.”
“Would Andras want you to be miserable? Or would he want you to move on?”
You stare at her not saying anything, but your silence must answer for you, because she nods, squeezing your hands.
“That's why you should stay. So you can move on, because I don't think you can in Spring.”
“I’ll find a way. But I want to come up with something that keeps Tamlin from wrecking too much furniture.”
Feyre rolls her eyes, shaking her head, but the smile is still on her face. You stand, letting go of her hands. “I'll let you get back to your letter practice. I found a music room with a piano in it and Rhys said he would get me new music to learn! It's been so long since I've had new music!”
The guilt that had been gripping Feyre's chest tight ever since she had become your friend, your sister, loosens itself at the way your eyes light up with excitement.
“I'll have to find you later so I can listen.”
You smile, squeezing her shoulder as you leave, finding your way back to the music room, just in time to see Rhys laying a packet of music on the piano bench. He turns to look at you when you enter, smiling at the smile on your face.
“I take it your conversation with Feyre went well then?”
“It did. We both lost our tempers, said some unkind things, but we also said things that the other needed to hear. She thinks I should stay.”
He raises an eyebrow. “And what do you think?”
“I think she's right. I'll never be able to move on as long as I'm still in Spring. There are too many memories there, too many reminders. And I know it's what Andras would want. I know that if the bond had snapped while he was alive, he would have been cautious. Probably would have insisted on being here with me, but he would have encouraged me to explore it. He would not want me to be miserable.”
Rhys nods, walking over to take your hand, brushing his thumb across the back of it. “We take this at your pace. Whatever you want.”
“I'd like for us to be friends first. I want to get to know you. The real you. Rhys, not Rhysand.”
“I think that could be arranged.” He smiles, violet eyes twinkling with stars.
“And I'd like some dresses. I don't like wearing pants.”
He laughs. “That also could be arranged.”
You look over the male in front of you, your mate, eyes lighting up as the start of an idea forms in your head.
“Tell me everything about Feyre's bargain, bargain tattoos and bargain magic.”
It's nearly the final day when you burst into the library, Rhys following close behind. Feyre jumps, quill scratching across the parchment, startled by your sudden entrance.
“I came up with an idea so that I can stay here. When Rhys takes you back, he’ll tell Tamlin that I made a bargain with him to release you from your bargain. You have to return to the Night Court two more times to make up for the remainder of the three months missed, but once those weeks are over, as long as I remain in the night court, you don't have to return. You and I will also make a bargain, but we'll get into that when Rhys leaves.” You glance at him over your shoulder, giving him a pointed look. He raises his hands in mock surrender, turning to leave, tugging on the bond as he does. You shake your head, grinning.
“I think overall it's a good idea. Why are we making a bargain?”
“Because I want to know that you're okay. I know you want to be in Spring. And I understand why now. But if anything ever changes, I want you to tell me and we’ll get you. I don't care if it's a week from now or 100 years from now. You'll always be there because you choose to be.”
“And you won't be upset if I do?”
“Of course not. I hope the way I pushed hasn't made you feel like I would be. I really did think I was helping.”
“I know you did. What will our bargain be?”
“Rhys said it can be something simple, as long as it remains unfulfilled, or is open ended, the tattoo and the bond that comes with the bargain will remain.” Feyre nods, waiting for you to tell her your idea. “We promise to write to each other once a week for the rest of our lives.”
“You made Rhys leave for that?” She raises an eyebrow.
You grin. “Yeah, I did.”
She laughs. “I accept your bargain.”
You feel the tattoo appear on the inside of your forearm, near your elbow and roll up your sleeve to take a look. You smile and the cluster of flowers that appeared on your skin.
“Little lillies?” Feyre asks.
“No,” you say, shaking your head. “Alstroemeria. Flowers have symbolic meanings and this one means friendship, love, strength, and devotion. It's for people who help each other through the trials and tribulations of life.”
“For sisters.” Feyre stands, pulling you into a hug.
You pace in the study, waiting for Rhys to return from taking Feyre back to Spring. It shouldn't be taking this long, should it? You had sent Feyre back with a letter for Tamlin, explaining that you had felt responsible for Feyre's bargain with Rhys, so you had made the bargain to take her place. She would give it to him after Rhys left.
You tug on the bond, trying to make yourself relax, managing to do so when you find it firmly in place. You would know if something was wrong. He was probably just antagonizing your brother.
Rhys winnows back in, crossing over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders to stop your pacing. “If you keep going you might wear a hole in the rug, and I'm rather fond of this one.”
“How did it go?” You drop your shields enough to let him in so he can show you, grimacing at what you see.
“Don't fret, Darling. It could have been worse.”
“It absolutely could have. I'm just not a fan of the way he pulled Feyre away from you. If he's not careful, he's going to hurt her.” You frown, brow furrowed.
“If he does, we’ll know.” He taps the spot where your tattoo is. You nod, trying to force yourself not to worry. Part of you still wishes you had gone back with her.
“So what now? You bring me to your Court?”
He nods. “I do, but not the Court of Nightmares. I bring you to my true court, to my home. I bring you to Velaris.”
A/N: And there it is! It took a completely different path than I was expecting. Unless I get super inspired and write the next chapter between now and Monday, the next chapter will not be posted until the 17th at the earliest. I will keep my requests open, because I'll probably still write, I just won't be editing and posting!
Divider by @tsunami-of-tears
Taglist: @lilah-asteria @readingislife2006 @acourtofimagines @mistymoocow @irelanrose
@darker-december @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @loving-and-dreaming @bravo-delta-eccho
@sidthedollface2 @oucereeng @jesskidding3 @panther-girl-124 @jiarkives
@thecraziestcrayon @nebarious @nyctophiliiiiaaa
#rhysand x reader#rhys x reader#rhys acotar#acotar#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction#acotar imagine#acotar x reader#acotar x you#maasverse#fanfiction#imagine
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Hades pp headcanons! (Only the nobles)
I am...SO FREAKING SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! I AM IN MY FINALS MONTH AND I HAD SO MUCH TO DO AND I'M STILL NOT FINISHED!!! I am still writting but it's going slow since I don't have much time. In any case,I will be free in 2 weeks so this series should pick up the pace. Anyway here is more penis.
Barbatos
- Judging just from that bulge.... It's big,his balls I mean. The dick I presume is rather normal.
- 17 cm, 14 cm when soft.
- With how much time this man spends naked,you think he would have a tiny bit of tan. All over his body,his dick too since this man forgets what clothes are for when he sees the sun. But nope! He uses sunscreen with 120+ protection. You probably can't even see anything when he's around. The sunshine illuminates right off of him,making him as sunny as his personality.
- His dick is a bit on the leaner side. It's nice and slim like a rose stem. Suprisingly,he's circumsized! His tip is also a very gentle shade of rosy pink.
-It is a very beautiful penis,fit for a man like him and he's proud of it too! Unfortunatelly when you have a king as envious as Leviathan,it may be the best to keep it hidden when he's around. Barbatos had to learn this the hard way...
- Anyway the only thing that makes his pp a bit...unperfect,is the giant ballsack under it. A very pretty pp with big,squishy balls. Very squishable,but please don't play with them for too long. He's a bit of a tease so whatever you do to him,he will do it twice as pleasureable to you.
- Also,has a few small cuts on his inner thighs and butt. He likes to sunbathe around roses he grows and he's not the type of gardener to cut the thorns off. So he has to suffer the consequinces. But he's not too bothered by the little sting of those flowers when they bloom so beautifully and can still be fierce.
-But if you're sunbathing with him,he will be very careful to not let the thorns get you. He places you on top of him and holds you against his bare body. After all,you are the most perfect of all the flowers in the garden and he can't risk his rose to get pricked by thorns.
Glasyal La Bolas
- He stinks.
- This man is literary putting his pp into corpses. That thing smells and not the nice Beel smell but a smell of expired meat.
-He showers after...um....doing his thing,but this specific stench is quite hard to get rid off. In shame,he had to ask Orias for the strongest shampoo he knows off and 100% alcohol disinfectant from Paradise Lost. His king knows everything that happens in Hell,because of a certain invisible spy. You can imagine what horrors await him if his king found him walking around with a dirty willy.
- It's very cold too. No one knows how he does it but his body is naturally cold. Almost as if he's a corpse himself....meaning his pp can be quite refreshing in hot summer days!👍
- Now if you two are planning to have sex,berate him to take a shower. Even if he already did,make him do another one. I don't know about you,but I don't trust this man or his cock.
- Speaking of cock,we should talk about it. He is....large. Very large. He could have a shlong fight with Mammon if that ever happened. He is a centimeter behind Mammon though....still that thing is a beast.
-Some who got a glimpse of it said it is the stuff of nightmares. Not because of the size but the shape.
- He's thick,long and has a very unique tip. His tip is a bit spikier than most but only enough that it's noticable and very much pleasureable when he makes love with you. It's like his tip it designed by God to reach just the right spot in your insides. Not only that but his shaft naturally leans up when he's hard. It's like a pillar of monstrosity....If only you didn't know what he used that amazing dick for.
- But as amazing as it is,you need a lot of preperation to take him. It takes awhile for you to actually start to feel good and...he's not a very patient man. A night with him is like flipping a coin. You can either end up in heaven or in a hospital. Marbas as another big-pp owner always scolds him when you need to be healed up.
-Glasyal is not a monster though. He feels bad when you suffer because of his lust,though he will never admmit it straight. He does apoligise to you but not only with his words. He will put that evil mouth of his to good use and please his dying darling.~
Foras
- Shiny~
- He's...average in lenght. Nothing special,just a nice 15 cm pp.
-The color however!! Mm,tasty-looking. The shaft is a pretty,milky color with a pinkish hue. And the tip is just like his horns. A beautiful crystalic rainbow. It's a bit firmer than the rest of his cock. It also shines like a crystal when light hits it.
-He once skinny dipped in the sun with Barbatos and accidentally became the focus of gossip in Hades for a few weeks.
-It was a very sunny day and as soon as his pants fell to the floor,his member feeling the fresh air...Barbatos and a few by-standing devils got blinded by his penis. The sunlight shined right on his cock or more precicelly at his tip and blinded the eyes of many innocent devils.
-From that day onward he was rumored to have stolen a chip of the sun and now decorates his cock with it.
-The rumors ended up reaching his beloved king's ears...Let's just say Foras got a thorough examination by his idol while also threatened to be castrated by the envious king. Still the best day of his life.
-But do not worry about his shiny pp when you two are being intimate. He now always makes sure his foreskin is covering the tip. He will only show it once you two are in private without any natural light being close to it.
-Has a mole on his pubic area. Just a bit higher than where his member stands and on the left side.
- His cum...is of low quality.
-Mostly because it's invisible. You won't know when he's finished unless you check on his face. His face is very honest when it comes to pleasure.
- But yes,his seed is invisible. You can taste it in your mouth but can't see it. (If you randomly slip on nothing,it's his fault.)
- No hair. This man is as smooth as a baby's ass. Only because he thinks it would be rude of him to stand in his majesty Leviathan's presence while knowing there is pubic hair growing inside his pants. What if his king one day orders him to strip and be of service?! Oh...and for you too.
Orias
-....I fear him and his penis.
- He has a body of a young adult so...you can see why I am not sure if this is right of me to do...
(I will do Orias if people want but I am scared this could get....controversial.)
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Hey Aiko! Thanks for the HCs from the last request, I really enjoyed reading every word of them.
You know those math equations where they spell “I Love You” as the final answers?
Could I request HCs of [MTMTE/LL] Perceptor where Cybertronian![Reader] [Gender Neutral] has a huge crush on him and pretends to ask for his help with some equations when they’re actually confessing their love to him through the complicated numbers and symbols?
Happy Ending: He likes them back.
Perceptor X Reader [MTMTE]
In which Perceptor's lab assistant confesses in the numeric language they both work with.
Reader is: Gender Neutral | Cybertronian | Autobot. Romantic.
The science wing aboard the Lost Light had become your home the last couple of months
More specifically, Perceptor's lab, where you'd been handpicked by the scientist to assist him with research
It was a dream come true! I mean, whatever the quest the ship was on was, it was fun and all, but having read every last one of Perceptor's research papers and lab reports, it felt wrong to be the one picked to help
He was Cybertron's genius, the best of the best, and he wasn't weird about it either
Most days you'd stand in the lab, comparing and accumulating data relevant to his research, taking care of any specimen, and cleaning
Most commonly, you were tasked with chemical waste disposal; each chemical was different, and each process was longer than the last
Today, however, Perceptor tasked you with sorting through the 'other' portfolio of research data
It was a list of all kinds of extras that were never finished, tasks galore.
It was also the perfect opportunity for you to work closely with him, since he was helping you comb through it
"What about the anti-anti-matter gun?"
"Anything with the word 'gun' is just Brainstorm trying to get me to do his projects for him. Dispose of it."
While he handled the physical box of 'other' projects, you were sifting through the online database
Thankfully your job was easier because you'd been so distracted watching him across from you and mulling over your plan that you wouldn't get anywhere otherwise
Truthfully, you'd long since sorted through everything using a quick sorting algorithm, but you'd been pretending to keep busy as you contemplated the pros and cons of confessing to Perceptor
He was your boss; if he didn't feel the same, it'd be awkward working with him every day
But your work performance was dropping with all the time you spent staring at him and daydreaming of your lives together
"Sorry, Perceptor, one last question. What is this?"
It was an entry with one equation: 9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u)
"Don't know; you can note what it solves and delete the main file."
"But what are we solving for?"
Your bait worked, and the scientist stood up to walk behind you, leaning over your chair to get a better glimpse
"Nothing, you're supposed to fill in for 'i' and 'u,' but you can simplify it."
He leaned further in to point at the brackets
"Multiply everything in there by three. Yes, just like that. So now we have 9x - 7i > 9x - 21u."
As funny as it was that he thought you couldn't calculate it on your own, you let him continue
"9x is then cancelled out on both sides, leaving you with -7i > -21u. just divide by three and then..."
"i <3 u"
"Yes, exactly, that's as simplified as you can get it until you identify 'i' and 'u'"
Your smile faltered, realizing he may have still not understood what it said
God, how could you have expected this to work?
"Thanks, Perc—"
"For example, you could substitute 'i' for 'Perceptor' and 'u' for you. Come on now, don't act like I couldn't figure out your game. You think so little of my intellect?"
When you turned to look at him, you realized he was looking at you rather than the screen, a cocky smile sprawled across his face
"I swear I don't; I was just—"
"Just what? Thinking I thought you couldn't solve simple operations? Thinking I would have 'forgotten' such a small equation in my data banks?"
You hid your face behind your hands to try and hide the blush, but Perceptor was already chuckling and pulling you up from where you sat
"Well, if it means anything..."
He reached to the keyboard, adding an extra character
'i <3 u 2'
Author's Note - I love this guy. What a fella, what an enjoyable cocky fella!!!! Thank you for requesting!
#aiko writez#transformers#mtmte#headcanons#idw#x reader#transformers x reader#lost light#reader insert#transformer headcanons#mtmte perceptor#perceptor x reader
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The casual type: 05 . The art of paying attention
Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader Wordcount: 3,354 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ???. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. Fluff for cute friends. Summary: ( Series ) • Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However, no one really expected things to end the way they did. ( Ep. 05 ) • Sometime the little details mean more than people think. More info under read more.
Includes ( this chapter ): The squad<3. Subin my love. And other new characters. A kind of out of nowhere jump in time ( just a few weeks ) because the writing just flowed like that, I don't know what to tell you. A mini-drama ( this is the spoiler I posted on ko-fi the other week ) and a bigger drama. Author's note: so… I'm sorry this took so long to be updated Y_Y As you may know, inspiration hasn't been too good these days, but after some lovely comments and knowing people are interested in this story, I finally finished this chapter, so thank you! Also, let me know if you figured out what the drama was before the end, or if you had a theory about it, etc. Hopefully you like this one, and remember to leave a comment, reblog, send an ask, follow or what not, to help my motivation. Thank you for reading <3
“Kang Subin, queer and honorable member of the divorced parents club.” Is how your roommate introduces herself friday night, pointing to the latter as the reason she is only now, a month after classes started, arriving to campus and the city in general.
She says her dad insisted on doing a year abroad as he did, assisting to his Alma Mater and hopefully fall in love with the city to move full time with him. And she did love it… a little too much. She admits the change of scenery was liberating, she could be a totally different Subin from the one in Seoul, and sadly that meant neglecting her notes and putting at risk her art history degree.
You're glad to note she will be joining you ( and some of your friends on occasion ) for classes, since she managed to keep her notes high enough to not lose her first semester. And then you spend the weekend getting to know each other, practically becoming friends overnight. Subin says it must be a you thing, and shaking your head no, you confess essentially begging the administration for a roommate because you're stuck with silly boys and all girls hate you because you aren't cool like them. She laughs, asks if that means the plan is making everyone hate her too and be stuck with you. And you freak out a little, but her laugh keeps flowing across the dormroom and you know she is joking; you know that things would be fine.
Monday arrives and between classes, you continue to give Subin small tours of the campus, mostly the art building and where all the vending machines are.
“There's more than I thought, could you make me a map?” She jokingly asks.
“I'll ask Jungkook for the one we made last semester,” you know he has it because it was offered to Yoongi before.
“Hey, y/n!” calls Taehyung, appearing at the other end of the hall with Yoongi, and when he asks “you got some gum?”, you know they were just on a smoke break.
“Oh, hi, Tae. Nice to see you.” Sarcastic tone all over it, “are you having a nice morning?”
He rolls his eyes and Yoongi laughs at his side.
“Sorry, I'm actually not. And I'm running late,” still you give him a look and as a little kid he repends. “Hi, you guys look pretty today, as alway.” He adds before you can argue anything, and only then Subin chuckles, understanding this must be part of your dynamic. “Do you happen to have some gum for us, your lovely friends?”
“Yes, actually.” Taking one strap off, you move your backpack to your front, looking for the little package they keep stealing from. “Here,” you hand one wrapper to Tae, who starts running in the other direction immediately, screaming how much he loves you. And a “nice to meet you!” to Subin.
Everyone laughs, Yoongi turning back in your direction after Taehyung disappears down the hallway.
“You want one?” You ask and before being able to stop yourself, you add, “Is cherry, though”
“Of course it is,” he smiles and you look away, pretending it's only to search for another one to offer Subin. Memories of friday’s night invading your psyche and shyness your whole body.
Well, that's your own fault.
“Thank you,” she says, looking at the two of you while unwrapping it. “I'm Subin, by the way, the new roommate.”
“Oh, she actually found one!”
“Just hoping she doesn't abandon me too,” you pout and Subin wraps one arm around yours.
“Never.”
“Yoongi,” He introduces, thumb pointing to himself and then behind, “And that was Taehyung, but I guess you'd meet the whole squad later.”
“Ah, yeah. I've been told she collects cute guys.”
“Did someone actually say that?” Yoongi asks when you're not even surprised.
“Yeah and when I asked about girls she looked relieved,” subin goes on, “I actually wanted to know, you know.”
Yoongi and you laugh, “someone doesn't like competition,” both say in unison.
“I told you, they lied.”
“Well, I can't really say that yet. I've to look first,” Subin insists, walking through the cafeteria's door. And it doesn't bother you because it comes from a place of curiosity and not horniness. No shame to anyone, your friends are hot, but you've known them for so long and know they have other great attributes that sometimes it feels superficial and it bothers you.
Besides, as a friend, you need to keep their egos just high enough to be healthy for everyone involved.
“Listen, kids,” calling for the table's attention, you stand in front of them, “this is Subin, my—”
“New roommate?” Asks Jungkook, remembering the text you sent, and you nod excitedly.
“That's Jungkook, he is in music and sports.”
“Which ones?”
“All. Some. We don't have time for that,” you joke, but only continue with the rest of his introduction after the youngest clarifies is soccer and box this year. “Oh, he also takes an art class with Taehyung and I, and now you, this semester. You know Tae from earlier, the one who keeps stealing my gum.”
“You're the one that tells me to not show up to class with cigarette breath!” He pushes back against accusations.
“I think she wants you to buy your own,” Jimin suggests.
“Or quit,” adds Hobi and the table laughs even more.
“That’s Hobi, the group's mom.” Tae offers after.
“Does that make Mai the dad?” Jungkook asks, with a serious expression on his face.
“I'm telling her so,” Yoongi says, already phone in hand and texting his best friend.
“You'll have to meet Mai later, she is great,” you continue, “but Tae is in arts. And Hobi and Jimin, are both dancers,” index finger pointing at their direction as you say each name, “and well, you already know that's Yoongi, he is in music too.”
“And the last new guy, right?” Subin remembers from your talk earlier after she met him for the first time, “I guess I took your title.”
“Are we enemies now?” He jokes, “I was about to offer you my chair, but now I don't know.”
Again, laughs all around and before anyone can think about the sitting arrangement too seriously, Jungkook is standing up, saying he needs to go back to the house before his next class.
“Oh, you are the biker from friday!” Subin exclaims as Jungkook’s helmet comes into view, everyone turning to look at her, “can't believe I forgot to ask you.”
And then five pairs of eyes are on you, all but Yoongi's, since he doesn't need an explanation.
“...What?” Asks Tae, finally.
“Had to call her to my rescue because I lost my key and from the hallway's window I saw someone drop her off on a motorcycle,” she explains, “that's when the girl told me about you collecting cute guys.”
“But that wasn't me,” says Jungkook.
“Yeah, you weren't with us that night. We were all at the house, so who was it?” Ask Jimin, and the curiosity in his voice makes you nervous. You have never lied to them, and starting right now without preparation is terrifying.
However nothing compares to the feeling on your stomach when Yoongi answers, “it was me, actually.” And without a beat, your friends are looking at him now, “What?”
“You what now?” Mister interrogation Tae goes on, “Why were you together? What time was it? Was it late?”
“You were alone? Why?” Asks Hobi.
“We can't hang out now?” You ask back, wasn't he who set you up in the first place? And yes, it didn't turn out the way they planned it, but wasn't the whole premise to get to know Yoongi?
“Not what I meant,” he corrects, “Just… you didn't say anything.”
“Well, you guys canceled, what were we supposed to do? Not do anything just because you weren't with us?” Yoongi answers before you.
“And we just hang out, you know, eat junk food and chat. Nothing to write home about.”
“Aww,” coos Jungkook, sliding his arm over your shoulders, “does that mean you missed us? You really love us, uh?” you pull back, sticking your tongue at him and pushing him towards the exit, telling him to hurry because if he is late to class you aren't covering for him again.
Thankfully, that's enough to get them off your back and Subin’s arrival provides better entertainment through the lunch hour, as your friends don't hold back on their questions to get to know her. And you're glad they seem to like her as much as you do.
“So… should I've not mentioned the bike thing?” worries Subin later, when everyone has left and is only her and Yoongi at the table.
“Don't worry about it.” He reassures her, offering a tangerine slice when she doesn't return the smile. “Seriously.”
Is not her fault, he thinks. He can't blame the guys either for wondering and going into big brother mode as soon as they hear you're hanging out with someone, since the prevalence of that is not the best right now. And although he does feels bad about keeping things a secret from them, mostly Hoseok, who Yoongi himself give the “you better be careful with what you do with my best friend” talk, it consoles him a bit to know that the both of you are on the same page with what you have.
Maybe if they knew it wouldn't be a big deal, he thinks. Better him than anyone else, right?
Putting away your phone and with the excuse of going to the bathroom before class, Subin and Tae follow their journey to the second floor without you and without suspecting anything. As you walk in front of one of the classrooms, a hand wraps around your forearm and pulls you in.
“What th—!” scream is interrupted when you recognize Yoongi. “You almost gave me a heart attack! I could've punched you.” And with adrenaline still running through your body, you actually push his shoulder with less force than you first intended.
“Ouch.” He rubs the place you hit, dramatically, as he explains, “Sorry, I panicked. There were people around and I didn't want to scream your name”
“Yeah, we should be careful after what happened at the cafeteria. Good save, by the way.”
“You own me,” he quickly returns.
“I do not,” you deny, crossing your arms, “You were the one insisting on going into the parking lot, I told you to leave me at the gate.”
“Well, forgive me for being a gentleman.”
You laugh, “and modest.”
Yoongi smiles, relaxing his body against the wall beside the door, “are you telling Subin about us?” he asks before you can question him about why he asked to meet.
Uncrossing your arms, you fiddle with your nails instead, scratching the acrylic paint off of them. “What is your opinion on that?”
“You can't answer a question with a question, miss.”
“Well… I don't know.” Is your final answer after a few seconds of silence. “She is cool and I really think we’re going to be friends and maybe I can gossip to her about you.”
He chuckles at that.
“And also she said sorry and asked if it was supposed to be a secret.”
“Really?” Yoongi sounds surprised, “She asked me that too earlier and I told her to not worry.”
“I feel bad about it because it seems like she is actually worried she messed up,” you share, “maybe I should just come clean. Only to her, at least. But of course not, if you don't want to.”
“No, it's okay. I think is good you have someone to talk to. And she seems nice.”
You nod in agreement, relieved you don't have to start hiding things from Subin as soon as you two met.
“Also,” Yoongi goes on, holding your hips and bringing you closer to him. You allow him to without much thinking. “It was nothing to write home about?”
“What?”
“Friday night, you said that earlier.”
“Did your ego get hurt?” You tease.
“No. But I didn't know you were a liar.” he throws back and you laugh. “I'm going to call you Pinocchio now.”
At that, you gasp, “stop giving me nicknames!”
And your attempt to pull away is just that, an attempt, because between laughs he holds you closer. “But is funny. And all of them are true.”
“They aren't.”
“Are so.”
“I don't like you.”
“That's not what I got from friday.”
“Yoongiii—.” you gasp again, his laugh louder this time.
Wanting a clarification stops him from dumping his phone back into the duffle bag and so, throwing the strap over his shoulder, he makes his way over to Chris and other teammates.
“Are you ready to go?” His roommate asks, and Yoongi nods, “good, I'm just waiting for Ha-ri.”
“Hey!” As they turn around, it is not difficult to recognize her as one of the cheerleaders since she is carrying her pom-poms and all, but is only as they continue talking that Yoongi realizes who she is, “sorry, I was saying goodbye to the girls and planning for next practice.”
“Don't worry, babe.”
“You must be Yoongi, hi,” she waves her free hand enthusiastically enough the pendant on her bracelet makes a jiggly sound, catching his attention “welcome to the university. And the team. Go, Bears!”
She seems nice, Yoongi thinks, “Go, bears!” first in the air, he chuckles in response before they all make their way to the parking lot and to Chris’s car.
The drive home is short and filled with questions about his last school and the reason he transferred, which Yoongi manages to give simple and vague answers that satisfy Ha-ri’s curiosity. It definitely helps that he has been questioned about it more than once the last few weeks, giving him more than one chance to practice before today.
The more weeks pass, the less people ask. And soon the mystery of his arrival is pushed to the side as people decide to talk about his accomplishments in the basketball games.
Every now and then someone recognizes him as an ex Tiger's player, and asks why he changed teams, but before anything can get to deep, a “well, now you are on the right team,” or something alike is thrown his way and he couldn't be more glad for the rivalry between the universities.
For what is worth, the change has proven to have been a good decision. Of course he is nostalgic for the past and he misses hanging out with Mai more often, but he has friends, basketball and music. He has even been planning to perform at school events with Jungkook as he did with Jay back then.
It feels like he is starting to build a new life, and it wasn't as difficult as his brain told him it could be.
With chuseok around the corner the university starts to plan the events for the weekend and some professors feel generous enough to give extra credits for participation. Others just used it as an excuse to make the assignments related to it, that's his and Jungkook’s case.
Yours is the first one, because getting a good grade for hanging out with your friends sounds too good to pass out. That's why for the last few days you have been following them around taking pictures and notes, preparing your article about their performance Saturday night.
“Are you done?” Yoongi asks from his spot at the end of the bed when you take the headphones off, the ones he made you wear so he wouldn't have to listen to himself on the interview recording.
“Yep. I only need Kook's side and I'm done,” end of the sentence elongates a bit, arms in the air as you stretch your back.
“How long for him to be here? I need him to go over something before he eats and gets a food coma.”
“I'm glad you're already prepared for that,” you giggle, “Because he is not even seeing my texts.”
“He is still busy?”
“Yeah, kissing someone for sure. Does he think I don't have things to do too?”
“Like making out with someone too?” he jokes, putting his guitar down on the bed, deciding to take a break too.
“Why? Are you jealous?” you tease, trying not to laugh and is surprising when you're met with a serious expression as you spin around on his desk chair.
“I thought the rule was to tell if there were other people.”
“I'm just kidding,”
“Wow, a comedian.” he rolls his eyes, and you know he is only pretending to be annoyed.
So, you push. “I'm funnier than you, don't get mad.”
“Cocky.”
“What, you don't find confidence attractive?”
“Oh, I find a lot of things about you attractive.”
Touche; you think as a smirk appears proudly on his face and makes you turn around, shy reaction at the security of this voice.
And he laughs. Of course.
“Shut up, Yoongi.”
“If you want to kiss me, just do it,” he only has to stretch a bit to pull on the chair, making you turn to him again and bringing you close.
And you do kiss him.
Not only to erase his stupid and attractive gummy smile, but also because you've missed it.
With projects and exams, with Yoongi not only being in a different major but also in his third year, hanging out only the two of you hasn't happened as much.
You don't mind. You understand that is not a priority and there is something relaxing about it being an unspoken agreement, something that you truthly appreciate.
But you would be lying if you said that you didn't miss Yoongi's lips against yours and the way his hand cups your cheek, still gentle as he tries to lead the kiss.
Looking for closeness, your hand finds balance on his tight, making you contemplate ditching the comfiness of the desk chair for a sit on his lap.
“Is pizza night, baby!” breaks through the house before you can make another move, making you jump and pull away on instinct. Moving out of Yoongi's reach, even hitting the desk with the back of the chair as you stand up in record time.
“Careful,” he murmurs and you don't understand why he isn't freaking out. Even dears to chuckle.
“Min, come out!” another voice calls out.
“That's not Jungkook,” you say as a matter of fact, your brain still in shock.
“I'm starting to think he stood us up.” He stands up, looking at his phone still without texts from the younger guy, “Wanna meet my roommates? They have pizza, apparently.”
And your empty stomach makes the executive decision to hide your shame, and disappointment, in exchange for some food.
You're introduced to Jin first, who introduces Namjoon while taking the knife out of his hand with a “let hyung do it.”
“I swear he never lets me hold a knife for more than five seconds,” he says and you find it adorable, but Namjoon seems genuinely confused and maybe a bit hurt by it.
You wonder what more there's to that. But before you can ask anything, a third roommate comes out of the kitchen, “Is for your own good and the wellbeing of everyone involved,” he says, making your whole body tense as the familiar voice rings through your ears.
“That's Chris.” Jin says, and you almost answer that you know, but for a second it is even hard to breathe.
Nevertheless, you don't need to say anything, because your silence is everything Yoongi needed to confirm that an introduction isn't necessary and in fact, you'd probably rather forget about him.
Because is him.
The guy who hurt you.
A/N: I missed writing this! again thank you to anyone who has show interest one way or another, you're the reason this chapter was actually finished uwu♡. A/N 2: I'm working on the intros for the characters that aren't part of the squad, and sometimes I ask for your help with fc's suggestions or names, so... that's something to know if you're interested. Send a tip on ko-fi and get some rewards!!
♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @nariee02 , @sexytholland , @itsmina29 , @ktownshizzle , @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d , @kimtaehussy .
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#( writing. )#( the casual type )#min yoongi x fem!reader#min yoongi x f!reader#min yoongi x you#min yoongi x y/n#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi fic#min yoongi smut#yoongi x fem!reader#yoongi x f!reader#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi x oc#yoongi x y/n#yoongi fanfic#yoongi fic#yoongi smut#bts x fem!reader#bts x f!reader#bts x reader#bts x you#bts x y/n#bts x oc#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts smut#min yoongi scenarios
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ghostsoap coffee shop au where Soap has been down bad for the past 2 years since he started working at the coffee shop and first saw the hot tattoo artist working across the street, but he had never made any moves because 1. he doesn't even know if Ghost is interested in men (or anyone, really) and 2. the guy seems too reserved to enjoy someone throwing themself at him, so instead, he just settled for small talk every time, trying to make Simon warm up to him slowly. They became friends, of course, no one could resist Johnny and his charm, even if the Brit always denied it and stayed rough around the edges. And then a new barista comes into the picture, a gorgeous one. They were all over Ghost the second they saw him.
To say that his blood was boiling every time he saw that would be an understatement, a big one. There was nothing in those moments he hated more and if looks could kill, the new barista would be long dead. Too bad it didn't work. Too bad Soap, instead of just telling Ghost he liked him, watched the way the new one was flirting with Simon so openly and the tattoo artist was playing into it.
Johnny had became so fucking grumpy after a week of that, everyone noticed, especially Ghost, because he was on the recieving end of it. And if there was one thing Johnny could do, it was being passive aggressive while mad.
Don't be fooled though, he wasn't unprofessional, but he definitely cut the small talk, turned down Ghost every time he tried to chat, gods, he even made up tasks to do just do he didn't have to be around Ghost and the new guy if they had a shift together and the artist came around. Everyone noticed.
Gaz tried asking, of course, the good friend he is. He knew Johnny fancied Simon, so the sudden change of hearts was unexpected until he saw the new barista with Ghost. It all made sense suddenly.
That's how Kyle came up with a way to force Johnny to finally talk to Simon.
To be fair, it wasn't hard, convincing his friend. The hardest part was making him admit that he was jealous, then it all went smoothly. Soap was of course, still grumpy and still angry with Ghost for not putting two and two together, but Kyle, gods bless this man's soul for putting up with it all, could be really persuasive.
And that's how, through a needlessly complicated and twisted plan that could have been executed in many more simple ways, Simon finally took a hint as to why his favourite barista was mad at him, and – of course – he did his best to make up for it. Not openly, he wasn't some soppy teenage boy that would turn into a puddle when someone he fancied was angry. It was just simply not him to act that way. So, instead, he left little gifts for Soap, nothing overly elaborate, he'd, for example, buy something to eat with his coffee, things he knew Jonny enjoyed and leave them for the Scot, instead of taking them, always brushing it off as "not having enough time to eat" when he finished his drinks.
It took a good month for John MacTavish to get over it, over thirty days of Simon doing little things for him so the barista would go back to his previous self. Him and Ghost may and may not have gone out after that, too, but that's a story for another day.
I wrote this at work mostly lmao (I don't even work at a coffee shop) (don't eat me it's the first writing I've posted properly in years) (you won't see me here for months after this 🫶)
it's embarrassing to post anything on Tumblr so if this flops I'm deleting my account and burying myself 3 feet under
#ghoap#ghostsoap#cod mw2#call of duty#alternate universe#coffee shop au#john soap mactavish#soapghost#simon ghost riley#tattoo artist au#if this flops i'll die
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OUR SECRET — MYG
final chapter
Summary: You and Yoongi are having an affair. No, you are not being his lover. But the world is not ready to know that an idol is dating someone. So you two were doing your best to make sure no one found out. Until he breaks up with you. His mistake.
Author's note: It was a beautiful journey to write this fanfic. But unfortunately, it comes to an end in this chapter. I will miss all the readers of this fanfic, which was so precious to me. Thank you all, and until next time.
PREVIOUS NEXT
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Upon reflection, this philosophy could be right, but no one mentions that sometimes, just sometimes, life gives you lemons and you don't have the strength for anything else. It's been two months since your baby passed away. You're trying to move forward, but the path ahead seems so murky, as if there's nowhere to go. Since your daughter's passing, you and Yoongi have been trying to maintain a sense of peace, but it feels like a hollow peace. He works all day and only comes home late at night. You've returned to work as a book editor, doing some freelance work from home.
"How is this going to be?" You ask, with the laptop in your lap, as you stare at the corrections needed for the new book that some new author wants to publish at the publishing house where you work. Yoongi looks at you, bringing a plate of food that he's trying to learn to cook.
"What do you mean by that?" Yoongi speaks as he hands you a plate and takes another for himself. You look, trying to understand if he hasn't noticed that you've been treated like a child since your daughter died.
"I mean, husband, that I know you've been neglecting your concert schedule and what should have been your tour with the boys, because of me. It's noble of you, but you know that I can take care of myself, right?" You say, tasting the macaroni that Yoongi made. He's a good cook.
"Wife, I'm not just doing this for you. It's just that I didn't plan on working at this time. But believe me, I'm working on a new album." Yoongi says as he turns on the television to watch the sports channel. At least that's what you think he's watching.
"Even so, I may seem fragile, but I can be alone. I can even call you while you're away. I don't want you to neglect your life because of me. I'll be here when you come back, no matter where you're from." You say as you set your laptop on the table and sit close to him. You continue eating the macaroni he made. Eventually, both of you finish eating, and you decide to put some music on the television. He looks at you angrily for changing the channel from sports. Then you extend your hand to him, hoping he'll take it so you can dance. After some grumbling, he gets up and pulls you close by your waist.
"You know it's weird for us to dance like this, for no reason after dinner, right?" Yoongi asks, and you feel a bit awkward about saying that you're trying to be spontaneous. It's been a while since you and he have done anything cute together.
"Loving someone means doing senseless things with them, you know? And I think it's been a while since the last time we were romantically together. Our beginning was all secretive and full of passion. Then we had a dramatic breakup that resulted in a surprise pregnancy that left us both grieving for our daughter. We're married now, but I feel like we barely dated. Maybe now is the time for us to do cute, silly, and romantic things." You confide in Yoongi as you rest your head on his shoulder, and you both continue dancing slowly.
"I don't regret any of this, though. Our love story is confusing. Maybe even complicated. But at least I have you. And you have me. And I may not show it very well, but you are the most precious thing I have now. I love my fans, I love my group, but my love for you is greater than the success I have. I know it took a long time for me to say this to you, and I'm really sorry for not being the man you deserved, but I want to be now. Know that." Yoongi says, pulling his head back slightly, looking at you, and you immediately kiss him. A calm and peaceful kiss. Exactly how you want your love to be.
"You know… I could go on tour with you if you need me to. And I think in the future, we can consider expanding our love, but for now, it would be good to take some time to reconnect, you know." You say with your mouth still close to Yoongi's, who gives you a few pecks while seeming very lost in your lips to care much about what you're saying.
"I think this part of reconnecting is very important. Do you want to start now?" Yoongi says and kisses you. A deeper kiss, and extremely needy. Needy for you. You try to show that you feel so much I miss his kisses as much as he does. The truth is, you want Yoongi. You want to give a chance to a flame that has been extinguished for some time. Yoongi holds your face gently but firmly and intensifies the kiss. His hands roaming your body make you feel alive.
"Honey, I think we should take this reconnection to the bedroom, don't you think?" You speak as you move away from him a little and walk at a pace very slowly to your room. Your heart feels like it's going to escape through your mouth, because of your nervousness. But then Yoongi grabs your hand and spins you around.
"I love you." He says smiling slightly and kissing you. You know he loves you. And you feel the same way about him. You then pull him to bed and there you reconnect in the most beautiful way.
Your story continues to be a lesson for some time that not every love story happens in the same way. You loved each other and just when you were separating, you discovered that together you could be better. With Yoongi you faced grief. And with you, Yoongi matured. Fortunately, years later you adapted to married life and he was able to return to being a world-famous singer. You have a mature relationship filled with reconnections. Every year you go to the cemetery to take flowers for your daughter. It seems that sometimes finding a happy ending means going through many barriers. But you're trying to live your happily ever after with Yoongi.
#yoongi x reader#min yoongi x reader#bts fanfic#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x you#min yoongi#jungkook#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#taehyung#jung hoseok#park jimin#bts series#bts angst#yoongi angst#min yoongi angst#ex to lovers#spotify#Spotify
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🇹🇭YKL vol.#20 ~Asia Tour 20th Special SETLIST~ 【Bangkok】 Live Report🇹🇭
Wow, what a week it has been. My Thailand trip was an exciting but very exhausting experience. I'm finally back home and after spending an entire day just relaxing on Tuesday, I feel somewhat ready to tackle this live report. I'm back to work and there's a lot to do but I still want to post as much as possible before I lose all of my motivation. Still took me several days to finish this so I am sorry for the delay🙏 I'll start with some general stuff from the day of the live and then continue with a detailed report. Without further ado, let's get to it〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→
Before The Live
The concert was held on November 15th at Bangkok Union Hall. At that point I had already been in Thailand for two and a half days doing all sorts of Kalafina and touristy stuff. Needless to say, I was quite exhausted from my previous activities (more on that in a future post) but I was determined to enjoy the day to the fullest. The only major thing planned for that day was a meet-up with some fellow fans to get lunch and dinner so thankfully, nothing too strenuous. Although one could argue that social interactions like this are always a big struggle for me :P Anyway, I headed to the venue quite early in the morning to meet my friends. We were doing some last-minute shopping at a nearby mall to complete the presents for Keiko and Hikaru. Also, we wanted to check out our flower stand which had been put up earlier that morning. I was beyond happy to participate in this particular flower stand project. The HiKei chibis turned out super cute and the banner was also adorable (just look at little Moo Deng🦛). I'm a little bummed though that I didn't get to take the cardboard print home with me since the girls requested the flower stand to be brought to their dressing room after the live (initially, we had planned to take all the decorative stuff off the flower stand after the concert before the flower shop picked it up but alas, it wasn't meant to be). Oh well, we got all those sweet pics with Keiko and Hikaru so that pretty much erased any feelings of disappointment. Thankfully, I got my acrylic key-holders and stickers as a little consolation. I will certainly treasure them forever. During the meet-up with some fellow fans, I also got a bunch of presents, including some gorgeous fan-made articles for the two lives in China. Honestly, I feel so blessed to have received all of this. Thank you so much to everyone who thought of me!
Speaking of fellow fans, I appreciated everyone who came up to me to say "hi". I was also very happy about all the yummy souvenirs. The suncakes from Taiwan saved my life during the following days because I always had a lovely snack to accompany my morning coffee. Sorry if I came across as awkward or reserved to some of you, I am not used to being in big crowds like that and meeting strangers is not among my strengths. Also wish I had gotten more commemorative pics with everyone but oh well, in the heat of the moment it's easy to forget about stuff like that.
For lunch we had planned to go to a Hainanese Chicken place but unfortunately, they didn't have enough room for our group so we ended up going to KFC XD. I forgot to take pictures but our order was honestly not that exciting anyway. I was so eager to try spicy food during my stay in Bangkok but that stuff at KFC was a total let-down (probably our fault though for not looking properly at the menu - they may have had some spicier stuff that we just didn't see). Dinner that day more than made up for it though since my main dish was incredibly delicious. Don't ask me what it was called, it was some sort of fried pork concoction with garlic and chili, simply fabulous and probably one of the best things I had during that trip.
Despite having a lot of fun during these activities, I kinda regret not being able to see anything of the Loy Krathong festivities that day. The weird timing of the concert would have made it very inconvenient to check out any of the festival sites and on top of that there were some bad weather forecasts so no one wanted to risk getting wet😢 It's a real shame but oh well, I guess the live was worth it.
♪The Live♪
Seat
I was very lucky to have dedicated friends who made sure I'd get a VIP front-row seat right across from Keiko's spot on the stage [the picture below was taken at the end of the concert when I was already walking outside so it doesn't properly reflect my point of view - I was seated a little more to the right side]. She was pretty much right in front of me during the entire live so of course, I was in heaven. Taking my eyes off her was a real challenge and at times I honestly felt a little bad for the other singers because I didn't really pay that much attention to them whenever Keiko was on stage. Also, this might make me sound like a perv but I was absolutely mesmerised by Keiko's legs. During her main solo parts she would always turn to the side or turn her back to the audience. Not sure why (maybe because so the audience would focus on her singing rather than her gorgeous face? Or she was a little self-conscious? Who knows). Either way, during these parts her legs were on full display and since her skirt was quite short on one side, you could basically get a glimpse of her tiny safety shorts with every tiny move she made 🫣
One tiny complaint I had was that the stage was quite far away from the audience area and they even felt the need to put up a relatively high metal barrier which created a weird sense of distance despite being all the way up in the front. Nevertheless, the concert felt very intimate to me and I think for that reason, I enjoyed it much more than my past Yuki Kajiura live experiences. I also gained a new appreciation for certain songs that I previously didn't care for all that much. I honestly can't stress this enough, experiencing a concert like this in such an intimate manner is vastly superior to watching a DVD/BD/live stream or even attending it in a spot somewhere further away from the stage. Everything feels and sounds completely different. Your entire body is getting caught in this spectacle and you get a full-on adrenaline rush. It's during these moments when I barely notice any flaws or mishaps. I've been made fun of in the past for always writing these overly positive and raving reviews of concerts but I personally don't even notice half of the bad stuff when I am on such a high. Plus, I don't enjoy lingering on the negative stuff which is why you won't see much of that in any of my reports.
Venue
To be fair, it wasn't a particularly good concert hall, at least in my opinion. The venue was a lot smaller than expected and it felt more like a convention hall rather than a proper concert hall. There are much better venues available in Bangkok but they were probably already booked or too expensive. Also, from what I've heard, the concert tickets didn't sell that well so it was probably a good thing that they stuck with this sort of venue. At any rate, it was very conveniently located at a MRT/BTS station so yay for that. The acoustics were decent enough I guess but nothing to write home about. The sound system could have used some improvements though, I don't think the instruments and vocals were very well-balanced throughout most of the concert. But maybe that could be chalked up to my position in the audience. Just a little disclaimer here, I am not very tech-savvy in that regard but on more than one occasion I noticed that the sound was kinda off...Mind you, not to an extent that would have taken away from my overall enjoyment of the concert but enough for me to notice it several times.
Setlist:
the world: Will always prefer Keiko on main but it is what it is, Joelle on main is fine too. It's a good song so it's a treat to hear it live no matter who is leading. The harmonies at the end didn't quite work for me. Was a bit all over the place. I think the sound system was at fault here.
in the land of twilight, under the moon: Not usually one of my faves but I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition.
vanity: What a blessing to hear this live in concert again! My first time was in Taiwan and I don't think I ever recovered from it. Correct me if I am wrong though but they made a big change during the performance regarding Keiko's epic yayayay part. She flawlessly did her solo of course but then when Joelle starting to sing that final chorus, she didn't continue to sing in the background which she would usually do. I found that very unusual. Also checked the bootleg recordings from the live in China and she did the same thing there too. Huh...Since when did they change it? That was a bit of a bummer to be honest since the very final part felt less epic because of it.
My long forgotten cloistered sleep: So, so good!! Huge fan! Joelle is getting better at it too so I am enjoying her version more and more.
I swear: Wow, what a revelation! I did not expect to suddenly fall in love with this song. I am obviously a huge Keiko-stan but due to her using her cutesy voice in this, it's never really appealed to me. It's always been one of those songs that I preferred to skip during re-watches of home video releases because it didn't really do anything for me. This time though, it felt like Keiko was serenading me specifically (a delusion on my part of course but let me have that little fangirl moment XD). Anyway, this is what I meant earlier. All of a sudden, a song has a new meaning to you and it's only because you get to experience it on such a personal level. The lyrics couldn't be more appropriate: "♪I know, I’m in love♪"
fiction: Not my cup of tea so I tend to skip this but Joelle in particular always does a great job with this song. Her voice is a perfect fit. Definitely my favourite performance so far because I was more into it than usual.
I reach for the sun: Love, love, love.
in the garden of sinners: Damn it, this one hurt so much, I literally almost cried. I don't even really know why but I could barely handle it. All I wanted to hear was Wakana together with Keiko and honestly, it was her voice in my mind, Joelle didn't exist for me in those moments. No matter what happens, I will always associate these melodies with Wakana and Keiko. On one hand, this performance made me incredibly sad but on the other hand, it made me feel even more grateful about the upcoming Kalafina Anniversary Live. Just the thought of hearing the three of them together again is bringing tears to my eyes.
ARIA: What a shame. I knew what to expect of course but it still hurt to hear Joelle sing the chorus. Unlike others, I didn't think that Hikaru sounded all that bad so she could have definitely handled the chorus (especially being backed by Keiko). She might not have sounded her best but who cares?! This is HER song so she should be in the lead. Period. I remember someone saying that Yuki wanted to go back to the original key (more of a speculation, as far as I know, it's not actually confirmed) so she gave the chorus to Joelle but Joelle was kinda struggling with it too so ultimately, we didn't really gain anything from having her in the lead. On a side note, I am just so relieved that Keiko and Joelle didn't do the infamous arm gesture that Wakana and Keiko used to do all the time. All of this sounds rather negative but to be honest, I still liked the performance despite being a little disappointed with the vocal arrangement. it's one of my all-time favourite Kala-songs so it's always a pleasure to hear it.
Magia: By now I am used to the FictionJunction cover version of this and it's really quite good. Solid performance. No notes.
Kimi no Gin no Niwa: Again, good stuff but since I don't particularly like the song it was just okay to me.
ring your bell: Ugghhh, probably my least favourite performance of the night. It's such a difficult song to perform and I honestly don't even like most of Kalafina's live versions but this one was hard to get through. Maybe the sound system was to blame a bit because LINO LEIA's microphone did some weird stuff that made her singing sound worse than it probably was. Plus, I honestly don't think she is a very good fit for the song. Hell, not even Wakana is a good fit for the song 90% of the time. For some reason, LINO LEIA kept using her more generic singing voice when instead, she should've opted for a more controlled head voice. Towards the end we heard a more solid delivery but the rest was unfortunately a bit messy.
to the beginning: Okay I guess. It's certainly one of the better Kalafina covers they do at YKL because Joelle and Yuriko add a lot of dimension. And since I have never been a fan of the song to begin with, it's not like I am missing Wakana too much.
Yasashii Yoake: The See-Saw section of the live was so much more fun than I had expected. Actually really surprised how much I enjoyed it since I am not too familiar with Yuki's old work and don't usually listen to any of it. Also, with Keiko not playing a big role in this corner, I thought I wouldn't be into it. But I guess the songs are just really good with catchy melodies so I couldn't help but like them. Also, my proximity to the stage once again helped me to have a bit more appreciation for the music. All three songs were featured at Kaji Fes. but I don't recall them leaving a huge impression on me. Back then I didn't mind them but I didn't get too excited. This time, I was having a great time from the get-go. Love the Joelle/Yuriko duo here. Joelle's voice works super well for this type of song.
Obsession: I remember not being particularly impressed by the Kaji Fes. performance but the Bangkok version was so cool. LINO LEIA and Keiko did a great job. So cool!! After that rather mediocre "ring your bell" performance, it was nice to hear LINO LEIA sing in a more comfortable range.
Senya Ichiya: Starting to love rito's vocals more and more. She's so criminally underused during these lives. Despite being promoted to "regular" singer, she really doesn't get to do much.
the main theme of “L.O.R.D”: One of my all-time faves. Joelle's best song if you ask me. Will never get tired of hearing it. Although I feel like at this point Joelle had already run out of steam a little because the performance didn't quite hit the spot in terms of oomph-factor. I think it's because Joelle had to carry 90% of the show and was thus running on low-heat towards the end. Still had a blast!
absolute configuration: Love having all the girls on stage for these sort of epic battle songs. Gorgeous harmonies.
luminous sword: Same as above. Perfect transition and a lovely continuation of the epicness.
蒼穹のファンファーレ: Typically not one of my favourite songs but yet again, I found myself enjoying it more than I usually would. The heat on stage was contagious so I simply got swept away in the excitement.
En. the image theme of Xenosaga II: Don't remember much of this but it was nice.
En.nowhere: Wow, wow, wow! What an amazing performance. So much more energised than during the Kaji Fes concert. Definitely one of the songs where I very much appreciated my closeness to the stage. I could really feel the heat and had such a blast, especially when Keiko began to really interact with the audience. Almost made me want to stand up but in the end, I remained seated (really not the type to move a lot during a concert). I have to agree with everyone who has already shared their thoughts on the other Asia live performances, this was definitely one of the highlights for Hikaru as far as her vocal delivery was concerned. Her voice was very powerful here.
En.into the world: I love that this has become almost a staple of YKL. It's such a gorgeous song with a beautiful message and I think Joelle as well as Yuriko manage to improve the overall harmonies with their added vocals.
#kalafina#kajiura yuki#yuki kajiura#keiko#hikaru#report#live report#fictionjunction#ykl vol 20#long text post#personal
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AITA for asking my parents to pay my tuition for the semester, lying about how I lost my scholarship, and then planning on lying to my dad regarding his requirements in exchange for him paying the tuition?
My (20X) college has a scholarship for offspring of faculty members, and I was lucky enough to have my application accepted by the college that my dad (53M) works at. This means that I get a full ride scholarship; if I graduate within 4 years, I won't have to pay a single penny to my college (books and supplies not included, of course).
Unfortunately, the scholarship does have two requirements; I need to have taken at least a certain amount of credits semester before (not a ridiculous number), and for that semester, I need to have gotten over a 2.0/4.3 GPA. Easy enough, right? Who can't get a GPA over 2.0?
Well. I suffered a mental health downfall the past semester and I ended up failing half my classes. I was unable to sit my finals. I know this wasn't smart of me, and I think I should've done something about my academic situation other than just wait for the semester to be over, but I had quit a semester due to my mental health decline previously and I didn't want a repeat of that. In any case, I got a GPA of about 1.6. I'm not on probation but I did receive a warning.
Fortunately, this doesn't mean I lost my scholarship for good. I just need to fulfill those requirements in the upcoming semester and I get it back.
I realized I did need to pay my tuition this semester two days before tuition fee acceptance closes and I debated telling only one of my parents. My mom wants me to finish college no matter what, and my dad has told me that he does not care anymore as long as I don't stress him out. He's also told me he no longer has any expectations for me whatsoever. I did also consider talking about it with my brother and borrowing money from him to put together the tuition fee.
I figured I'd bite the bullet and just told my dad, who I know has been stressed about my future and how badly I'm doing in college. I just casually dropped it as I was making breakfast for myself and then we had a lengthy conversation that my mother (51F) joined when she got back home.
I don't remember much of the conversation (I may have memory problems) but the AITA mentioned part is that I lied to my parents and told them I did sit all my finals and try my best. I didn't. I tried that for mid term exams but I had nothing to write, so for finals I didn't sit them at all. This happened with three of the classes I was taking. I just didn't take my finals. My dad was suspicious of my claim; he said that as a professor himself he wouldn't fail students who at least submitted homework and sat their exams to write anything at all, but I maintained that I tried.
The conclusion was that my dad would be willing to pay my tuition if I got my shit together and also deleted my social media, which he thinks is a drain on my time and energy. He's not wrong. I deleted my Twitter accounts immediately afterwards (which my parents don't know about) because I've been thinking about it, but I can't really bring myself to get rid of Discord, where so many of my friends are. People I've met while studying internationally, long-term friends who moved to other countries; Discord is the only way to contact these people.
This is the AITA part; if my dad follows up on that particular requirement to check if I deleted Discord, which he particularly dislikes (he has previously confiscated the electronics I bought with my own money that I earned, after he saw me on muted call at night with some friends), I plan on deleting the app/program on my devices but using it anyway as a website. This would be a betrayal of my dad's trust in me, but there's no love lost between us anyway. He's already told me he doesn't love me unconditionally. (Yes, I'm his biological child and he did raise me.)
I also feel like an asshole because I could've settled this with the help of my brother; I'd pick up a job during the winter break to pay him back, but it would have been done eventually. Or I could've just gone to my mom. She works her own job, and we could've figured it out together without telling my dad. I told my dad anyway, wanting him to pay the tuition, even though I knew that talking about having to spend money on his kids stresses him out deeply.
My mom also told my dad to go to therapy (in detail, so I know it wasn't just something she said as a throwaway thing) during the conversation. It did get heated. I don't disagree, but I don't know if that'd be okay; mental health is stigmatized where I am, and my dad as a grown adult man and a respected professor if seen going to therapy could have his reputation kind of effected. It wouldn't have happened if I just brought up this whole situation quietly up to my mom, or just my brother.
So I lost my scholarship, I lied to my parents about the technicalities of how that happened, and I'm asking for some amount of money from my parents but also planning on lying to them in regards to the terms they set out. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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YOU'RE ALIVE??? - my reaction upon seeing your most recent reblog
Anyway, your fic and blog single-handedly kickstarted my U.S. military history obsession <3
im alive!!!! yeah I've been away for a while. it, ah... has not been a grrrreat time to be a military historian or a Big Fan of military propaganda pieces like Top Gun for the last year or so...
lmfao I just saw that the second trump admin plans to haul up all the commanders in charge of the Afghanistan withdrawal (which HE negotiated btw) in front of congress with the plan to charge them all with TREASON per the UCMJ (good fucking luck dude)
but um in my timeline... that includes navy secretary 2021-2022 tom iceman kazansky, bro... so in case you're wondering what these characters are up to in the present day apparently the answer is "getting investigated for treason." sorry to bring down the mood. my happy ending's a little sour now.
mostly I've been insanely busy. I graduate university in may & have to have a journalism capstone, an English research thesis (my paper on military commanding officers in fiction inspired by my top gun fics tbh) and a creative writing capstone (novel) done by march. plus job applications, work for the place where im currently freelancing, apartment hunting... so im a wee bit crunched lately.
some minor updates for anyone who still cares: I am, extremely slowly, still editing WWGATTAI & the other stories. I've finished a complete overhaul of the Carole-dies chapter, chapter 7, but have yet to post it because I'd like to sync a logistical change in the story across the other pieces. and I'm mostly done with a COMPLETE overhaul of chapter 6 (aka "the nineties" chapter where ice & mav move in together & build their family) which goes into much more detail about how... emotionally and logistically... they could pull that off. + a lot more baseball stuff + the Clinton sex scandal. which leaves just chapter 10 left to do. ugh, my least favorite, which is why im putting it off... and then debriefing etc. which won't take as long because I don't honestly care about debriefing at all and I just have very minor changes to make to it. slider doesn't need editing and idgaf about the other pieces.
once I finish with the edits, which will happen eventually I swear because more than anything I just want to hold the updated edited final thing in my hands the way I did with the first draft, I'll upload my pdf (with meta analysis and notes that go back to mid-2022) for u guys to do with as you wish
also for the m:i doubleheaders I am planning on editing my m:i fic pre-m:i8 next year and pending ilsa life status will write much much more
#have I missed anything big in the fandom orrrr...#also I am on bsky at compacflt (tho I don't post about top gun)#if u wanna come say hi & see what im up to (politics and aerospacepoasting mainly)#'but Lia!' I hear you complain wrt this post. 'you promised all this before! you promised a final edit like literally over a year ago!'#yeah im continually asking for patience here lol#a lots going on in the world in case you weren't aware#trying to be cool and normal about this new administration purging the military of 'woke' and 'disloyalists'#but it is really a five alarm fire along with every other fucking thing this clown and his clown posse want to bring to the country I love#thinking of bringing back my boring march 2023 new-yorker-style tom kazansky interview to talk about some of this stuff in a fandom space#regardless of how you feel about 1980s Reagan neocon politics or 2010s neoliberal politics...#what we're about to see in the near foreign policy/defense policy future is a repudiation of both schools of thought for the WORSE#sorry let me go back to being cool and normal#and not posting on here#miss you guys
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2025 Writing Plans
With this being the third such yearly plan post, i think its officially a tradition lol. my standard disclaimer is this is my high level plan right now, subject to change and likely overly optimistic, but still worthwhile to make and try to layout. posting about writing plans gets me excited for the new year.
here's what i'm thinking:
Nothing's Wrong With Dale: Borrowing some of my plan from last year, i need to finish my own edit of Dale, hire an editor, commission cover art, and then self-publish. I'd love to get all that done in time for december publishing, but given how long everything was taking last year, i'd settle for just pushing it over to editors by the end of the year.
Short Stories: I want to finish off Courtship Confusion and Free Piano: Haunted this year, along with at least one other new story, but i am not trying to predict what that might be lol. maybe one that's been on my shelf for a while,maybe the one i started a couple days ago, maybe a new idea I havn't even had yet, like Voluntary Sacrifice. Nothing's gonna get posted until May at the earliest.
Novella(s): I'd like to kick off work self-publishing two other Novellas: a combo naga novella (Finally Woken and Selfish) and Sacrifice. No idea how far I can get between my edits and revisions, scrounging up the money to pay for editor/publishing/cover art, and pulling together some sort of timeline for all that, but I want to get it all going so i have more self-published work out there (it'd b really cool to go to a con or something in 2026 and have a set of books to promo and not just 2 lol - not to get too ahead of myself).
Series: I want to make Sacrifice the first novella in a 6 book series, each focusing on a different deity returning to the temple with the final book about all of them coming together against a common enemy, likely focusing back on the MC from Sacrifice. I have some note sand outlines for the different stories (although they all need better titles). Currently, I was considering them being a published exclusive, but I might still post abridged version on here, especially as I work through my ideas. So for 2025, in addition to getting Sacrifice further on it's own publish journey, i want to complete all the outlines and notes, solidify the characters, etc - everything i need to start writing these stories.
Longer stories: I still want to work on planning them out and making a decision on one to start posting next, like with Dale, but I don't think that actually posting anything longer like that will happen in 2025 (see everything else i want to do above lol). Still, getting organized is important and i'm looking forward to fleshing them all out and knowing which one i'll be diving into next.
So lots of stuff i want to get into and multiple things I want to try to finish off lol Definitely overly ambitious, but its getting me excited to get to writing.
As always, my day job is extremely busy January - April and this year is no exception so new stories until that time passes.
Feel free to send in any asks about upcoming/current stories! I'm looking forward to all the exciting writing and publishing to come in 2025!
#my writing#writing status#writing goals#2025 plans#yearly overview#story status#writing schedule#self-publishing#editing#aiming high lol#trying to make these plans more focused on progress on multiple fronts#rather than a specific end goal accomplishment#it feels less like i'm setting myself up to fail that way#even while being overly ambitious
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Our First Christmas
Carl Grimes x fem!reader
"it is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air"
cw: none other than the zombie apocalypse implications?
tropes: friends to lovers, found family.
summary: you decide to secretly throw a surprise Christmas party for your friends and accidentally end up kissing your best friend under the mistletoe
a/n: LATE MERRY CHRISTMASSS 4 THOSE THAT CELEBRATE!!! this was very rushed as i literally thought of this last night but it's done!! hope you enjoy!
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
You knew that holidays were pretty much non-existent nowadays.
The world ended, didn't you get the memo?
Still, here you were all giddy as you finished wrapping your last gift.
Today was Christmas Eve, tomorrow being Christmas. Don't get it wrong, you weren't 100% sure that you had the dates right—there were days that you were too busy to remember or you simply forgot— but it was basically Christmas give or take some days.
You made sure of it.
You had been tracking time since forever.
It may sound silly to others but you have been keeping count of the days since you were eleven when you promised a certain someone that you wouldn't spend your life trying to conquer time, rather you would let yourself forget it for a moment now and then.
So you did.
Obviously the first few years of adjusting nobody worried about things like birthdays or holidays. It didn't matter. There was simply no time.
It did to you though.
The only real constant that you've had since the world went to crap was time.
It never left.
Once you got to Alexandria it was even easier to track time because you had a stable living environment. You could write it down, hang it up, even tell people the date.
So that's how you remembered Christmas.
A few months ago you went on a supply run with Daryl. You agreed to go for basic needs like food and clothes but you secretly were searching for little gifts for your friends.
Since then you had agreed to go on any run you could. Sometimes you even had to sneak out over the wall just so you could specifically look for valuable items.
All of your friends had such different personalities and backgrounds that it made present searching both fun and awful.
You struggled trying to find gifts for Daryl and Sasha but it was easy to find stuff for Maggie or Carl.
The more you knew about a person the better.
To say it took you awhile to find gifts is an understatement.
You nearly got bitten or died a total of seven times (not that you were counting), got lost and confused your north from south at least five times, and only had three incidents where someone almost found out what you were planning.
But anything for the holiday, right?
The weather was extremely chilly and it snowed basically every few days. Winter's were not fun and you could understand completely how back in the olden days how people died from the weather.
It's no joke.
Anyway, back to present time.
You were in your bedroom of your shared house with Maggie and Glenn. You were sat on your bedroom floor surrounded by colorful wrapping paper and tape. You had been keeping your gifts under your bed for awhile but since it was Christmas Eve you decided to take them all out and finally wrap them all.
Glancing around your floor you could easily tell what belonged to who.
For Rick you got a fancy looking pistol, simple but you remember him having one similar to when you guys were at the campsite so you thought it was good enough, plus you had two things of ammo.
For Michonne you got her a leather scabbard. It was about time she had a new one but she would never have time to go look for one. You came across it by accident so it was a win.
For Daryl you got him a jumbo pack of arrows for his bow. Even if he didn't complain you could tell that he hated to waste his arrows on walkers, especially when he lost them afterwards. So you figured he would appreciate it.
You got Rosita a black leather jacket, Eugene a dictionary, Judith a small collection of teething rings, Abraham nearly got a bottle of rum but you settle with a pair of black boots, and Carl a whole volume of this cool sci-fi looking comic series.
Oh, Carl.
You actually spent so long trying to make sure that whatever you got Carl was perfect.
You could have simply got him the first set of comic books that you found but you wanted it to be special.
It was your first official Christmas together after all.
It was hard to keep your surprise Christmas a secret from Carl, he was your best friend after all, but you wanted it to really be a surprise.
Everyone needed a break from the world.
It had been too long since you all had a chance to really celebrate something other than successfully preventing walkers from killing you all.
It was nearly midnight.
As soon as you were sure that enough people would be asleep you were going to head downstairs and over to the church.
It was more of a place where Rick gave meetings and announcements but it was basically like a town hall so you were going to decorate it to the best of your ability.
Here's the plan:
Bring all the gifts to the church, they'd obviously have to go on the stage area but under what exactly? Well luckily for you your community lived surrounded by trees and it wasn't exactly illegal to cut down a random tree.
So that's what you did.
Of course it wasn't a HUGE tree but it was skinny and maybe three or four feet tall. You had kept it in the cellar of your house for a week or so. How you snuck it inside the walls without anyone seeing was a mystery even to yourself. You were sure that someone would have seen you but nope.
You would drag the pine tree across town and into the church, it would go inside this pot thingy that you found to stand up, you would then decorate this tiny tree with a few ornaments.
It. Was. Tough. Finding Christmas ornaments.
The world ended during late spring, early summer, so stores didn't exactly have Christmas decorations out then. You had started searching for decorations way before gifts because you knew that it would have been so difficult, and it was.
Luckily, you found a bunch inside the basement of a random town house.
Boom. Tree, presents, decorations, all check.
You spent maybe an hour or two decorating the small church, putting garland on the back of each row of seats and on the windowsill, adding a wreath to the doors, and you even managed to find a small thing of mistletoe to hang up above the door.
Everything looked perfect.
The sight made you smile, this is how it should have been.
You sat on the bench for awhile once everything was done and accidentally fell asleep.
.
.
.
You woke up to the feeling of someone gently nudging your shoulder.
You could feel the hard, cold, wooden bench and it made you uncomfortable. Sleeping here was not recommended.
Wait. Sleeping here?
You suddenly jolt awake. You glance up and see the tree and gifts and decorations and then turn your head to see your friend, Carl.
Carl was standing there and staring at the sight in awe.
"Did you... did you do this?" He spoke and you could see his breath leave his mouth.
I sat up straight and rub your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up.
"Do you like it?" You asked.
He looked at you and then back straight ahead and crossed his arms.
"Do I like it? This is incredible. How did you manage to do this?" He was in disbelief.
You shrug. Right before you could open your mouth to respond you both heard a gasp from behind you.
You turn your head around to see who's there.
Rick and Michonne were standing there with a mix of awe and confusion on their faces.
Rick's gaze flickered from Carl to you and then he walked up to the two of you. Rick looked at you with a knowing look.
"You did this?" He asked.
You nodded. "Yeah." You answered and you could see your warm breath in the air. Gosh it was freezing.
You continued to rub your arms up and down and stood up. "I thought it would be good to try and bring back the holidays. We don't get to do things like this anymore.."
As you spoke Carl must have noticed how cold you were so he stood beside you and gently put his scarf on your shoulders.
You grabbed onto the scarf and smiled at Carl.
These small interactions were normal to you two but little did you two know that Michonne was smiling at the sight of you two.
.
.
.
An hour or so later everyone was up and was able to take in the sight of Christmas.
It was a huge surprise to everyone just like you planned. Everyone was genuinely happy for once.
It was perfect.
Eventually it got too cold to stay in the church so most people moved the celebration to Deanna's house. On your way there Olivia asked if you could run to the pantry and get some chocolate in order to make cookies.
She figured it was a special occasion so why not?
You agreed and made your way over to the house. While you were walking you heard footsteps coming up from behind you. You turn around and see Carl running after you.
"Wait up! I'll come with." He said.
You two walk through the snowy streets of Alexandria together. It somehow seemed warmer when Carl was near you.
Once you got to the house you went up the steps but didn't realize that there was a huge patch of black ice on the second step.
You went to run up the stairs but slipped on the ice and fell backwards.
You expected to hit the hard, cold, and snowy pavement but you didn't. You instead felt the grib of hands on your arm and back.
Carl had caught you.
"You need to be careful." He breathed out.
You shakily regained your composure and stood up straight. "Right, sorry."
You two entered the house and you walked towards the back and into the pantry. There you saw the deep freezer. It was full of frozen veggies, meat, and of course—chocolate. You grabbed two bars of Hershey chocolate and shut the deep freezer.
Carl was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets and leaning against the door frame.
You turned around to face him and for a few moments you two just looked at each other.
"Thanks for doing all this," He spoke, "Seriously, it's so cool that you managed to do this for us."
You smiled. "It was time that we went back to celebrating something normal."
Carl glanced up at the door frame. His eyes stayed there for a few moments and slowly your eyes followed.
There hanging above your guy's head was a small mistletoe.
"How'd that get here..?"
"Must've been Olivia? I guess when you see snow that's enough reason to remember Christmas."
"I guess.." You trail off and your gaze goes from the mistletoe to Carl's face.
What was that saying again? The tradition?
"Don't people usually kiss in this situation?" Carl asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but it also has a hint of something else.
He then looks at you. His eyes examined your face. You could see his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips but then back up quickly.
"Should we?" You ask after a few moments.
It was bold. Too bold.
Carl stared at you with a surprise look.
You immediately get embarrassed for asking and feel your cheeks start to redden.
"Gah! Sorry, that was dumb, um, sorry I don't know why I said that. Forget it." You quickly said.
Carl immediately shakes his head. You could tell he was just as embarrassed as you were.
"N-No, no, no! Uh, no, um—do you want to? I mean it's what people do, right? Just a tradition." He says and his voice gets softer.
You fumble with your hands and nod.
"Right.." You say quietly.
He got closer to you. You two were maybe a foot away from each other. It was cold in the room, house, but this feeling of excitement warmed your body up.
Somehow every time you were with Carl your body made it feel like it was summer time.
He was standing in front of you now. So close he could simply reach his arm out and his hand could graze your cheek.
You know this because that's exactly what he did.
His touch was so gentle, so soft, it felt like you could melt into him.
Without any more hesitation Carl leaned forward and brought his lips to yours. It was softer than you imagined, gentle.
He pulled his lips away from yours just for a few moments and you then brought his lips back down to yours and returned the kiss.
Your hands inched their way up to his scarf to pull his body closer to yours. Meanwhile his own two hands found themselves on your waist. It felt natural. Like this is how it was meant to be. This kiss means more than just a Christmas tradition, it was real. Full of emotions even if it was soft and slow.
You could feel the eagerness as his grip on your waist tightened.
You both pulled away for air and you couldn't help but smile.
You went to speak but suddenly there was the sound of footsteps on the porch and the front door opened.
You both quickly let go of each other in order to remain your composure.
A few sec later followed in Olivia. She stopped and stood in the hall. "You two okay in here? I started to worry, everything else is already ready, we just need the chocolate."
You turned and smiled at her. "Yep! Sorry, um, everything's fine! Here's the chocolate bars." You pulled the Hershey bars out of your pocket and handed them to her. She accepted them and put them in her own pockets before smiling.
"Okay then, let's go, it's freezing in here." She prompted.
You glanced at Carl and nodded towards Olivia. She turned around and started back down the hallway. You followed after her and so did Carl.
Once outside the house it was snowing even more than before. It was so cold and you didn't have gloves. Out of nowhere you feel a hand slip into yours, Carl.
He held your hand all the way to Deanna's house, he didn't even let go once on the porch.
Olivia went inside and you two stopped walking. You turned your head to look at him and the way he was looking at you?
Gosh.
"Thanks for Christmas." He whispered.
"Heh, of course."
"Things may be bad but I'm glad that I have you. Christmas or not—you're my gift."
You smiled and glanced at the snowy ground.
"Please, just wait. I'm not done. Next I'll be celebrating birthdays. Especially yours Mr."
He laughed. "Of course."
He stepped forward and opened the door for you.
"Let's get out of the cold." He said and gestures for you to enter.
"Thank you." You say and enter the house.
Christmas had turned out better than you expected, and you couldn't wait to celebrate New Years next.
After all, who said that you hadn't planned for that as well?
#carl grimes x reader#y/n#x reader#drabble#twd x you#twd#twd x y/n#christmas#friends to lovers#the walking dead#carl grimes#rick grimes
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